Marriage - a shift in meaning - Deepstash

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Marriage Has Become a Trophy

Marriage - a shift in meaning

For many people, a wedding is no longer the first step into adulthood, but often the last step.

It is a celebration of what two people have already accomplished, unlike the traditional wedding that celebrated what a couple would do in the future.

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IDEA EXTRACTED FROM:

Marriage Has Become a Trophy

Marriage Has Become a Trophy

https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2018/03/incredible-everlasting-institution-marriage/555320/

theatlantic.com

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Key Ideas

Marriage statistics

  • In 1997, the median age for a first marriage was 27.4 for women and 29.5 for men.
  • The college-educated are more likely to marry eventually. Nine out of ten wait until after they marry to have children.
  • A large portion of those without college educations have a child before they marry.
  • In Norway, the median age at first marriage is 39 for men and 38 for women, and weddings often take place long after a couple starts to have children.

Replacing marriage

In 2012, 57 percent of Americans believed it is alright for a couple to live together without intending to get married.

The dominance of marriage may be due to a cultural lag, where attitudes and values change more slowly than the primary material conditions.

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Christians marriage ceremonies in the Middle Age
Christians marriage ceremonies in the Middle Age

In the Middle Age, Christians did not need to marry inside of the church: whenever they came to the consent over the union, they could get married anywhere.

The difficult part was proving ...

Getting married as a minor of age

In the Middle Age, one only needed to have reached the age for puberty in order to be able to get married.

Furthermore, the parents' approval was not even necessary. However, rules like asking for your landlord's consent or marrying only persons from the same class were given a lot of importance.

Consent to get married

Back in the Middle Age, the consent to get married could be either verbal or physical. Sexual intercourse counted as physical consent.

On the other hand, giving your word to marry somebody or offering a gift to that person, even without having a sexual relationship, would also lead to marriage.

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Arguing over text

Couples who argue over text; apologize over text; and/or attempt to make decisions over text, are less happy in their relationships.

Not having kids

This isn't to say you can't be happy if you have kids--it's just to understand that it's normal to not feel happy sometimes. 

Many couples put pressure on themselves to feel perfectly fulfilled once they have a long-term partnership with children, but the reality of kids is that they're very stressful on relationships.

Having friends that stay married

Research shows you're 75 percent more likely to get divorced if a friend or a close relative has already done the deed.

Attending to the health of one's friends' marriages might serve to support and enhance the durability of one's own relationship.

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We Don't Understand Ourselves

We don't realize that we are a bundle of contradictions and are trying to look for someone who can understand us, while we haven't been able to understand ourselves yet.

We think we are a gre...

We Don't Understand Others

Like us, other people are stuck in the same low-level self-realization: we try to gauge the other person by their looks or family or social status, which is a futile exercise in most cases.

We Don't Know Happiness

We aren't accustomed to being happy or have a misguided idea of what happiness is.

We find the ones who would be right for us, to be wrong for us, because of our lack of experience in what good is, and the fact that we don't associate love with being happy and fulfilled.

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