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Marriage Has Become a Trophy

Marriage statistics

  • In 1997, the median age for a first marriage was 27.4 for women and 29.5 for men.
  • The college-educated are more likely to marry eventually. Nine out of ten wait until after they marry to have children.
  • A large portion of those without college educations have a child before they marry.
  • In Norway, the median age at first marriage is 39 for men and 38 for women, and weddings often take place long after a couple starts to have children.

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IDEA EXTRACTED FROM:

Marriage Has Become a Trophy

Marriage Has Become a Trophy

https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2018/03/incredible-everlasting-institution-marriage/555320/

theatlantic.com

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Key Ideas

Marriage - a shift in meaning

For many people, a wedding is no longer the first step into adulthood, but often the last step.

It is a celebration of what two people have already accomplished, unlike the traditional wedding that celebrated what a couple would do in the future.

Replacing marriage

In 2012, 57 percent of Americans believed it is alright for a couple to live together without intending to get married.

The dominance of marriage may be due to a cultural lag, where attitudes and values change more slowly than the primary material conditions.

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Christians marriage ceremonies in the Middle Age
Christians marriage ceremonies in the Middle Age

In the Middle Age, Christians did not need to marry inside of the church: whenever they came to the consent over the union, they could get married anywhere.

The difficult part was proving ...

Getting married as a minor of age

In the Middle Age, one only needed to have reached the age for puberty in order to be able to get married.

Furthermore, the parents' approval was not even necessary. However, rules like asking for your landlord's consent or marrying only persons from the same class were given a lot of importance.

Consent to get married

Back in the Middle Age, the consent to get married could be either verbal or physical. Sexual intercourse counted as physical consent.

On the other hand, giving your word to marry somebody or offering a gift to that person, even without having a sexual relationship, would also lead to marriage.

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Arguing over text

Couples who argue over text; apologize over text; and/or attempt to make decisions over text, are less happy in their relationships.

Not having kids

This isn't to say you can't be happy if you have kids--it's just to understand that it's normal to not feel happy sometimes. 

Many couples put pressure on themselves to feel perfectly fulfilled once they have a long-term partnership with children, but the reality of kids is that they're very stressful on relationships.

Having friends that stay married

Research shows you're 75 percent more likely to get divorced if a friend or a close relative has already done the deed.

Attending to the health of one's friends' marriages might serve to support and enhance the durability of one's own relationship.

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Internet And Marriage

At least one-third of all marriages in the U. S. are now between partners who met online and researchers say online meeting-based marriages happen more quickly after the first date.

The Non-Divisive Effect

Before the Internet, dating was mostly restricted by one’s social and geographical limitations with friends of friends being the most common method of introduction. The Internet pairs couples that wouldn’t even meet otherwise.

Research also indicates that you're more likely to date someone from a different race if you're dating online, by a factor of about 7 percent. 

Combating Social Stratification

There's a troubling trend towards exclusive, private membership-based dating apps that only allow very rich or very popular people, essentially creating a dating bubble that socially isolates people by class.

By using less restrictive apps we have the widest possible pools of potential dates, rather than aspiring to something more exclusive, we're keeping ourselves open to more random love connections that cut across lines of race and class and everything else that divides us. We're doing our part to keep society more open, less stratified.