Unrealistic expectations

Like us, other people are stuck in the same low-level self-realization: we try to gauge the other person by their looks or family or social status, which is a futile exercise in most cases.

We aren't accustomed to being happy or have a misguided idea of what happiness is.

We find the ones who would be right for us, to be wrong for us, because of our lack of experience in what good is, and the fact that we don't associate love with being happy and fulfilled.

Young men across large parts of the world are holding back from relationships and starting families because of unemployment and low wages. This is especially true in places where high dowry payments are expected.

Even places like Greece, Spain, and France are experiencing age-related fertility problems because young people can't afford the trappings of adulthood.

The situation of singledom is increasing in women globally. 

• In a range of places, women are becoming the majority of students at university over men, and desire to engage in their career with zeal, which delays marriage.
• One multi-country study from sub-Saharan Africa found that even when women themselves hadn't received a more formal education, they were likely to delay marriage if it was the norm around them.

Mark Regnerus provides some insights into the modern dating scene:

• A casual relationship is now preferred to a committed one.
• Sex is now a field for marketers to provide products and services.
• It takes considerably less time, effort and risk for one to get sexual gratification through online dating or porn.

Youngsters are now wary of a life-long relationship and consider it as an option.

• One-third of people who are in their twenties may never marry.
• The increase of freedom to romance has changed the definition of romance.

3 pages of longhand writing, strictly stream-of-conscious, done as soon as one wakes.

They are not meant to be art. Or even writing. They need not be smart, or funny, or particularly deep. It's a form of “brain drain”, a way to expel all that angry, petty stuff that spirals through our subconscious and muddies our days.

• Boost in mindfulness
• Better memory
• Better communication skills
• Improves mental health
• Better sleep
• A stronger immune system
• More self-confidence
• Higher I.Q.

You have probably met a large number of friends through just a handful of people. Those are your superconnectors. Rekindle those friendships and ask them if there is anyone you should meet.

Don’t be interesting. Be interested.

• Listen to people and ask them to tell you more. 
• When they mention something you have in common, point it out.
• Be enthusiastic and encouraging.

For most of human history, there was no time for romance. Marriages were arranged by families and were a purely economic arrangement designed to promote the survival and prosperity of both extended families.

It wasn’t until the industrial age that things began to change. They didn't have to rely so heavily on family connections any more. Consequently, the economic and political components of marriage ceased to make sense.

The economic realities of the 19th century mixed with the idea from the Enlightenment about the pursuit of happiness. The result was the Age of Romanticism.

People became economically independent and love (or emotions) became valued in society. These ideals of love have been heavily promoted and marketed during the 20th century.

• Words of affirmation: Expressing affection through spoken affection, praise or appreciation.
• Acts of service: Actions, rather than words, are used to show and receive love.
• Receiving gifts: Gifting is symbolic of love and affection.
• Quality time: Expressing affection with undivided, undistracted attention.
• Physical touch: It can range from having sex to holding hands. With this love language, the speaker feels affection through physical touch.

The concept of love languages helps pretty much any relationship - it’s useful to understand what matters to people.

It all comes down to knowing what’s important to people so you can understand, empathize and work with them a little better. 

We all have different life experiences; we come from different backgrounds. It makes sense that we communicate differently, too.

If you are planning your first date with somebody, make sure to pay a special attention to the topics you want to engage in throughout the date. Keep the conversation smart and the exchange of experiences alive.

When going on a first date, make sure your mindset is a positive one, no matter what your previous dating experiences felt like. Embrace the fear of a possible failure while hoping for a pleasant outcome.

Our emotions take precedence in our own problems due to our narrow viewpoint.

• If we imagine that instead of us, it's someone else whom we are advising, we may have a more objective suggestion.
• Talking to yourself in the third person also puts us in a witnessing mode.

Accepting the wisdom that comes from being objective is critical, though it may mean coming in terms with yourself.

Distancing yourself from the situation gives you clarity, but the bitter truth that emerges should not be disregarded.

The other person can sense the unease, the possessive desperation, neediness, and even creepiness in you that arises from 'clinging' towards them.

Even if we play it cool, and follow the dating norms and etiquettes, the 'needy' energy can leak out of us, repelling the other person. If you are feeling like that, it is best to listen to yourself with compassion.

Being left alone or not being able to have a fulfilling relationship with one person is a perfect opportunity for self-discovery and self-examination.