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How to Know if You've Married the Wrong Person
Unrealistic expectations
The gap between expectation and reality is the cause for many of life’s disappointments.
We like to create detailed fantasies of how our lives are going to be. But when we expect our reality to match a fantasy but life turns out nothing like it, we feel disappointed.
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The faulty logic
We usually consider moving into marriage in an attempt to preserve and prolong the happy romantic feelings that characterize the early stages of almost all relationships.
But in most cases, there is no real connection between those feelings and the institution of marriage: marriage tends to move us onto a more administrative plane.
Unrealistic expectations
The gap between expectation and reality is the cause for many of life’s disappointments.
We like to create detailed fantasies of how our lives are going to be. But when we expect our reality to match a fantasy but life turns out nothing like it, we feel disappointed.
Asking the right questions
"Are you the right person for me?" is the wrong question to ask, because nothing outside of ourselves can fix us or bring us happiness.
A more constructive question to ask would be "Can I accommodate your imperfections with humor and grace?"
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We Don't Know Happiness
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Modern Dating Scene
Mark Regnerus provides some insights into the modern dating scene:
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- Sex is now a field for marketers to provide products and services.
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Marriage is now an Option
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Journaling as therapy
Labeling emotions and acknowledging traumatic events, both natural outcomes of journaling, have a known positive effect on people, and are often incorporated into traditional talk therapy.
Morning Pages
3 pages of longhand writing, strictly stream-of-conscious, done as soon as one wakes.
They are not meant to be art. Or even writing. They need not be smart, or funny, or particularly deep. It's a form of “brain drain”, a way to expel all that angry, petty stuff that spirals through our subconscious and muddies our days.
Benefits of Journaling
- Boost in mindfulness
- Better memory
- Better communication skills
- Improves mental health
- Better sleep
- A stronger immune system
- More self-confidence
- Higher I.Q.