Learn more about habits with this collection
How to find common interests
How to be a good listener
How to overcome social anxiety
Introduction
From slow speeds when you start and stop your engine to full-speed cruising down the freeway of your day-to-day, this book summary will explain what the different gears are and when you should use them. By following their lead, you can become more connected to all the situations and people you encounter every day.
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MORE IDEAS ON THIS
#3: Fourth gear is the most commonly used for day-to-day action, but people tend to overdo it and risk burning out.
One of the most common examples of this is waking up and checking your emails, meaning that you run headfirst into the day in fourth gear. But imagine a sports team playing an important game; they don’t come charging out the locker room and straight onto the field without warming up first or warm...
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#1: To avoid being disconnected from others, you need to use the right gear for each situation.
First gear is for individual recharge; second gear is for connecting deeply with friends or family; third gear is for casual socializing; fourth gear is for working and getting multiple tasks done; fifth gear is fully focusing on a single project.
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#2: Fifth gear is good for getting something specific done but can make you miss important opportunities.
example is a funny video on YouTube of a kiss-cam incident at a basketball game, where a man is so focused on the court that he ignores the camera on him and his date, causing her to kiss another man instead! Too much focus can cause you to miss opportunities at which you might otherwise jump.
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#4: Third gear is important for building relationships, but many find it difficult to entertain other people's interests.
In the same way, you can create new opportunities in third gear by being genuinely curious about other people’s interests and giving them your full attention, since you never know where it might lead. Just remember not to spend your whole life socializing in third gear – you wouldn’t get anything...
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#5: Second gear is for cementing real relationships but is all too often ignored or forced at inappropriate times.
Second gear requires the most joint responsibility, as everyone must be truly in gear for it to work. Just as the open-door policy clashed with fifth gear, if someone comes to you in second gear and you’re not present too, you’re only wasting their time.
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#6: First gear is about personal recharge and is vital for the other gears but requires individual action.
No matter how you recharge, just remember to try and fit in some first gear both first thing in the morning and last thing at night, whether it’s a morning yoga session or cooking family dinner in the evening. After all, you wouldn’t try to start or stop your car without using first gear, so why ...
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5 reads
#7: Apologizing in reverse gear is important for maintaining respect and influence, but needs sincerity.
So how can you make sure you reverse correctly? Probably the most important thing is to use it sincerely – using an apology to get out of disagreements or manipulate others into getting what you want is not healthy behavior and the opposite of being responsive. Make sure you reverse only when you...
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5 reads
KEY ADVICE
Many of us are stuck in one mode, but this isn’t enough. Understanding each of the 5 Gears and when best to use them is the key to being present in every part of your life. From the high focus of fifth gear to multitasking in fourth, socializing in third, connecting with your loved ones in second...
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4 reads
CURATED FROM
IDEAS CURATED BY
they are important to me and will ne important to all reading the article you bring the terminology of 5 Gears to your home or office, you can easily let others know when you or they are in a different gear to what’s needed. If a colleague is still talking business at lunch, just tell them to switch to third, or if your child is looking for attention while you’re in fifth, flash them five fingers. The message is clear, and no one gets offended by a personal slight – it’s just a case of changing gear!
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Other curated ideas on this topic:
Taking Notes
- If and an idea from the book makes you stop and think, write it down and elaborate on it
- Copy your favorite quotes and line into your journal. Explain why you wrote them down.
- Write down what you learned from the book.
- Would you recommend t...
Actionable Steps
- Decide to take full responsibility for your own life – even if you can’t explain how you got here.
- Write down 6 seemingly inconsequential positive steps you can start doing daily (like reading books).
- Identify 6 seemingly inconsequential negative actions you can put a stop to...
Step 2: Slow Down
The brain does not instantly register when your stomach is full. It takes your brain 20 minutes to send you that signal and for you to get that comfortably full feeling. That means that you need to slow your eating down. Even if you are making healthy choices with your foods, you still need to sl...
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