"Our Type" Of Partner

You can’t fully focus on any behavior if you try to establish several at once. 

Doing so risks overloading your willpower and your habits may end up competing for priority.

The best way to turn a behavior into a habit is to use a trigger to remind yourself to do it. Your trigger needs to be something you always do anyway. Anything you already do without thinking works.

As you build new habits, you create new triggers for yourself and stack a new habit onto it. Each existing habit acts as a trigger to remind you to complete the next one until it becomes natural to do both together. 

People may not be communicating well about what they want in their partners or may have a lack of awareness, or even a myopic view of their life. Experiencing it for themselves is a better bet to find out what works.

The dreamy idols that make up our early stages of attractions, especially at a young age, do not translate into someone one can spend the entire life with, where mundane activities like picking up groceries and taking care of the kids take precedence over being handsome or inspiring.

Whether you’re speaking up in a team meeting or you’re conducting a presentation, it’s important to be clear that you'll need to get all of your ideas out there before opening the floor to questions and contributions. 

This sets the tone right from the get-go that you’re aiming to share your ideas free of interruptions. This also makes it easy to halt an interrupter in his tracks.

Sometimes you can only fight fire with fire.

Refuse to pause for interruptions, and instead continue moving forward with your ideas. If needed, you can even pause for a second to address the interrupter and say, “one moment,” and then finish off your thought.

There are several reasons why the impostor syndrome seems to have become an epidemic.

• We have given the phenomenon a name.
• Our preoccupation with it is the result of profound social change. Many people work in the service economy, where we create impressions rather than tangible items. 
• Professional life today leaves us straining to redefine ourselves; we sometimes promise things we don't yet know how to do. 
• We are no longer born into a role.
• We can constantly compare our experiences to those of others online.
• We can create an outward persona we know to be untrue.

In order for you to believe in yourself, you need to convince someone else to believe in you. Once they believe in you, you feel more confident to believe in yourself.

When you're an impostor, you expect to be exposed at any time. You feel that at some point, someone might appear and see you for the fraud you think you are.

Self-motivation is a great quality for remote workers, as they are at home, only accessible through email or through video conferencing to the manager.

High levels of enthusiasm, a positive approach and choice of words provide clues to the manager if someone has an optimistic frame of mind.

If a manager is getting to hear only what is pleasant to hear, at all times, it can be a cause for concern. Remote employees must be willing to say things that aren’t going right, and most of the time, there are many such things. If they can disagree with you, it’s a good sign.

Also, if an employee is going out of the way to be liked by colleagues, and wastes a lot of time and mental energy on it, he/she is probably a people pleaser.

• Prepare. Have questions ready to ask new people,such as “How did you get started in your career?" or “What are you passionate about?”
• Find a conference buddy to bring with to your next networking event.
• Be that person. Many feel the same as you do. Forget about yourself and reach out.
• Be present. Once you do start a conversation, ask lots of questions and practice your listening skills.
• So try to relax, smile, and look as warm and casual as you can.
• Challenge yourself to step out of your comfort zone just a little bit.

When people experience breakups they go through the ‘protest’ phase initially, and the rejected lover becomes obsessed with winning back the person who has quit the relationship.

Rejection, paradoxically, makes the rejected person love the partner even more. This is called a ‘Frustration Attraction’, and can be categorized as an addiction.

The rejected lover experiences high levels of dopamine and norepinephrine in the brain, and are visibly stressed out. These chemical reactions trigger many to do crazy things to win their ex back. Such feelings are erased quickly if the lover starts dating a new partner.

Some people also feel increasingly passionate and loving after the breakup and are more likely to forgive their ex.

The neurobiology of affiliation is the new scientific field that describes the neural, endocrine, and behavioral systems sustaining our capacity to love. There are three factors in the neurobiology of bonding:

• Oxytocin that drives both care and prejudice
• The affiliative brain
• Synchrony.

Oxytocin - a large molecule produced by neurons in the hypothalamus - is known for coordinating bonding, sociality, and group living. Oxytocin targets mainly the amygdala, a center for fear and vigilance, the hippocampus, and the striatum, a locus of motivation and reward.

Oxytocin is released through the central part of the neuron as well as its extensions, called dendrites. The dendrites increase oxytocin release whenever attachment memories are used and prime us for a lifetime. Early attachment memories help us move without fear. It imprints the infant's brain with distinct social patterns.

• upholders: disciplined and respond to both internal and external expectations;
• obligers :can’t keep commitments to themselves but respond to expectations from others; 
• questioners: ask why and can keep a habit if they understand the logic reasoning; 
• rebels: hate being told what to do by others, so it has to be something they want to do.

• Many rely on a “streak” feature: they track how many consecutive days you’ve completed the habit;
• Other apps offer accountability features to pressure you into completing your goal; 
• Some apps turn habit formation into a game: The app rewards users who complete their habits with badges and other virtual incentives.