"Our Type" Of Partner - Deepstash

deepstash

Beta

Get an account to save ideas & make your own & organize them how you wish.

deepstash

Beta

Why You Should Date Someone Who Isn't Your Type

"Our Type" Of Partner

While choosing a partner, we subconsciously type-cast them. We have a particular preference for a  type of person that can provide us with a feeling of warmth and familiarity.

We are drawn towards, or attracted to certain individuals that make us comfortable and have similar values and traits.

69 SAVES


This is a professional note extracted from an online article.

Read more efficiently

Save what inspires you

Remember anything

IDEA EXTRACTED FROM:

Why You Should Date Someone Who Isn't Your Type

Why You Should Date Someone Who Isn't Your Type

https://nylon.com/articles/why-you-should-date-someone-who-isnt-your-type

nylon.com

2

Key Ideas

"Our Type" Of Partner

While choosing a partner, we subconsciously type-cast them. We have a particular preference for a  type of person that can provide us with a feeling of warmth and familiarity.

We are drawn towards, or attracted to certain individuals that make us comfortable and have similar values and traits.

Dating Outside Your Type

  • Instead of dating according to a laundry list of traits and preferences, a person can get out of their comfort and familiarity zones and date other types of people.
  • One can choose a different kind of individual, breaking the unconscious habits or roles developed as a child.
  • When we start to look at others holistically rather than through a series of must-have qualities, it broadens our perspective. Let people surprise you, and surprise yourself!

SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:

Habits You Should Track

Factors to consider when choosing a new habit to track:

  • Motivation: choose a habit you personally care about. If you pick a habit out of a sense of obligation, your motivation wil...
Tackle One Behavior At a Time

You can’t fully focus on any behavior if you try to establish several at once. 

Doing so risks overloading your willpower and your habits may end up competing for priority.

“Stack” Your Habits

The best way to turn a behavior into a habit is to use a trigger to remind yourself to do it. Your trigger needs to be something you always do anyway. Anything you already do without thinking works.

As you build new habits, you create new triggers for yourself and stack a new habit onto it. Each existing habit acts as a trigger to remind you to complete the next one until it becomes natural to do both together. 

2 more ideas

Research On Our Partner Preferences
Research On Our Partner Preferences

Our own partner preferences may not be fully understood by us.

  • An organic study on peoples dating and partner choice indicated that one’s preferences, ideals and priorities t...
Real Life Vs Dream Life

People may not be communicating well about what they want in their partners or may have a lack of awareness, or even a myopic view of their life. Experiencing it for themselves is a better bet to find out what works.

The dreamy idols that make up our early stages of attractions, especially at a young age, do not translate into someone one can spend the entire life with, where mundane activities like picking up groceries and taking care of the kids take precedence over being handsome or inspiring.

Let it Go

Interruptions can be frustrating. But, the point here is that not all of them are worthy of addressing.

Sometimes, the best thing you can do when faced with an interruption is nothing at all,...

Set Expectations From The Beginning

Whether you’re speaking up in a team meeting or you’re conducting a presentation, it’s important to be clear that you'll need to get all of your ideas out there before opening the floor to questions and contributions. 

This sets the tone right from the get-go that you’re aiming to share your ideas free of interruptions. This also makes it easy to halt an interrupter in his tracks.

Keep Going

Sometimes you can only fight fire with fire.

Refuse to pause for interruptions, and instead continue moving forward with your ideas. If needed, you can even pause for a second to address the interrupter and say, “one moment,” and then finish off your thought.

2 more ideas

Impostor syndrome

The impostor syndrome is the sense that our accomplishments are in some way underserved, no matter how consistent the evidence is to the contrary.

Impostor syndrome is an epidemic

There are several reasons why the impostor syndrome seems to have become an epidemic.

  • We have given the phenomenon a name.
  • Our preoccupation with it is the result of profound social change. Many people work in the service economy, where we create impressions rather than tangible items. 
  • Professional life today leaves us straining to redefine ourselves; we sometimes promise things we don't yet know how to do. 
  • We are no longer born into a role.
  • We can constantly compare our experiences to those of others online.
  • We can create an outward persona we know to be untrue.
The paradox of being an impostor

In order for you to believe in yourself, you need to convince someone else to believe in you. Once they believe in you, you feel more confident to believe in yourself.

When you're an impostor, you expect to be exposed at any time. You feel that at some point, someone might appear and see you for the fraud you think you are.

3 more ideas

Remote Employees
Remote Employees

It’s hard to figure out for managers what kind of people make the best, most productive remote employees.

Optimism is the quality to look for, while the trait to avoid is people-pleasin...

Optimists

Self-motivation is a great quality for remote workers, as they are at home, only accessible through email or through video conferencing to the manager.

High levels of enthusiasm, a positive approach and choice of words provide clues to the manager if someone has an optimistic frame of mind.

People Pleasers

If a manager is getting to hear only what is pleasant to hear, at all times, it can be a cause for concern. Remote employees must be willing to say things that aren’t going right, and most of the time, there are many such things. If they can disagree with you, it’s a good sign.

Also, if an employee is going out of the way to be liked by colleagues, and wastes a lot of time and mental energy on it, he/she is probably a people pleaser.

Introverts

Introverts tend to be reflective and have close relationships.

But it can be hard to be open and let strangers into your life. Small talk doesn’t come easy, and it’s hard work to estab...

How introverts can be more social
  • Prepare. Have questions ready to ask new people,such as “How did you get started in your career?" or “What are you passionate about?
  • Find a conference buddy to bring with to your next networking event.
  • Be that person. Many feel the same as you do. Forget about yourself and reach out.
  • Be present. Once you do start a conversation, ask lots of questions and practice your listening skills.
  • So try to relax, smile, and look as warm and casual as you can.
  • Challenge yourself to step out of your comfort zone just a little bit.
Working with our hands

Activities that use our hands relieve stress and help solve problems:

  1. Using our hands on a task that doesn’t demand much cognitively gives the mind a chance to relax and rest.
Rekindling Of An Old Flame
Rekindling Of An Old Flame

Breakups and subsequent renewals are quite common across all types of romantic relationships and even marriages.

Falling apart and then seeking to mend the old relationship seems to be dee...

The Protest Phase

When people experience breakups they go through the ‘protest’ phase initially, and the rejected lover becomes obsessed with winning back the person who has quit the relationship.

Rejection, paradoxically, makes the rejected person love the partner even more. This is called a ‘Frustration Attraction’, and can be categorized as an addiction.

Chemical Reactions

The rejected lover experiences high levels of dopamine and norepinephrine in the brain, and are visibly stressed out. These chemical reactions trigger many to do crazy things to win their ex back. Such feelings are erased quickly if the lover starts dating a new partner.

Some people also feel increasingly passionate and loving after the breakup and are more likely to forgive their ex.

5 more ideas

Love sets the stage
Love sets the stage

When a loving mother holds the newborn baby in her arms for the first time, she intuitively knows to care for the child. A relationship is formed, a bond created. The child will emerge in abilities...

The neurobiology of bonding

The neurobiology of affiliation is the new scientific field that describes the neural, endocrine, and behavioral systems sustaining our capacity to love. There are three factors in the neurobiology of bonding:

  • Oxytocin that drives both care and prejudice
  • The affiliative brain
  • Synchrony.
Oxytocin and attachment

Oxytocin - a large molecule produced by neurons in the hypothalamus - is known for coordinating bonding, sociality, and group living. Oxytocin targets mainly the amygdala, a center for fear and vigilance, the hippocampus, and the striatum, a locus of motivation and reward.

Oxytocin is released through the central part of the neuron as well as its extensions, called dendrites. The dendrites increase oxytocin release whenever attachment memories are used and prime us for a lifetime. Early attachment memories help us move without fear. It imprints the infant's brain with distinct social patterns.

5 more ideas

Habit-formation apps are aspirational tools

They're less about distilling your life into a series of data points and more about becoming your ideal self: If you use their app, you too can become a person who practices good habits. You can be...

The 4 tendencies when it comes to habit formation:
  • upholders: disciplined and respond to both internal and external expectations;
  • obligers :can’t keep commitments to themselves but respond to expectations from others; 
  • questioners: ask why and can keep a habit if they understand the logic reasoning; 
  • rebels: hate being told what to do by others, so it has to be something they want to do.
Depending on your habit-formation tendency, habit-tracking apps may or may not work for you. 
Habit apps use the psychology of habit formation
  • Many rely on a “streak” feature: they track how many consecutive days you’ve completed the habit;
  • Other apps offer accountability features to pressure you into completing your goal; 
  • Some apps turn habit formation into a game: The app rewards users who complete their habits with badges and other virtual incentives.

2 more ideas