"You", "them", "we" - Deepstash
How To Break Bad Habits

Learn more about communication with this collection

Understanding the psychological rewards of bad habits

Creating new habits to replace old ones

Developing self-discipline

How To Break Bad Habits

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"You", "them", "we"

Put yourself in the other person’s shoes and ask, “What’s in it for them?”

When we seek assistance or buy-in, asking for an opinion produces a critic. Asking for advice provides a partner.

Pay attention to your pronouns as well: "You" is selfish. "Them " is selfish. But "we " means working together.

112

229 reads

MORE IDEAS ON THIS

People-proof TL;DR

Especially for memos, agendas, and group emails, add a TL;DR (too long; didn’t read) summary.

Follow this formula: Who does what by when and how are we going to track progress. Write this person by person if needed. If the TL;DR clearly summarizes everything, send only the TL;DR....

101

230 reads

Write less often

Things that are rare and dwindling become more attractive and are perceived as more valuable. The less we write, the more valuable our writing becomes. 

Refrain from responding immediately. If another recipient should answer, give the person the right of first response....

125

266 reads

"Listen" more

Communication is eighty percent listening and twenty percent talking.

In writing, ask clear, concise questions, so they know they'll be heard.

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320 reads

Too much noise, too little attention

Too much noise, too little attention

Nobody wants to read anything you write at work. It's not personal though. We just happen to live in a world where there is so much information asking for our attention.

We can take action and make it easy for our colleagues to read our emails, messages, texts, and memos.

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393 reads

Action words in your subject line

Tell your recipients from the start what you expect.

If they need to read and comment on it before a Tuesday afternoon meeting, instead of "Agenda for Tuesday," use "PLEASE COMMENT: Agenda for Tuesday."

124

298 reads

Lead with the need

Because most of us start rambling with our insecurities - don't try to write a final draft on the first try. Allow yourself a few first drafts, then flip it.

Take the final sentence, the conclusion, and move it to the top. This inversion forces you to lead with the need. Then, you'll find ...

128

233 reads

Don’t answer, ask

When you discover problems, don't compose an email with a long explanation, opinion or instruction as this will make co-workers less inclined to take ownership.

Instead, use one or two sentences to describe the situation, then ask a single question and let the team contribute.

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244 reads

Fewer words

We long for clarity and for other people to say what they mean in as few words as possible.

Making wordy sentences that lose their fluency due to needless complexity in a text negatively affects the receiver of your message. In short: big is bad.

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265 reads

CURATED FROM

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addison_ii

Thinker. Hipster-friendly coffee advocate. Infuriatingly humble organizer.

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Ask Them For Advice

The way to get others to see your perspective is to ask them for advice. When we ask them for advice, they put themselves in our shoes and look at the world from our point of view.

A common fear is that we may seem less competent, but when we ask for advice, as long as the...

Never Ask For Someone’s ‘Opinion’

When you ask someone for their ‘advice,’ this puts the other person in a togetherness state of mind, which helps increase the other person’s desire to support whatever you’re asking them for advice on.

Asking for their opinion, on the other hand, puts the other person in an introspection s...

Listen To And Value Them

Listen To And Value Them

When you listen, even on seemingly insignificant discussions, you understand your partner better and it shows you continue to give them the same attention you gave them in the beginning. 

Unless you are together all the time, never stop asking them how their day we...

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