Understanding Praise
- Praise is not love. Praise is conditional and may be offered or withheld. Love, particularly of a child, must be freely given regardless of performance, behavior, or "status." Love is always there. Praise comes and goes.
- Praise can only be granted by others. Where there is praise, there is always the absence of praise, because praise can only be granted by someone else. As a source of self-worth, it is not sustainable or sustaining because it is external, fleeting, and ultimately beyond our control.
- Unearned praise is disempowering. Whereas love only feels genuine when it is freely given, praise only feels genuine when we've earned it. Unearned praise disempowers others, particularly children, by sending the message that praise is an entitlement rather than something earned with hard work.
- Praise can lead to over-reliance. When we lack feelings of self-love and cannot validate ourselves internally, we can become over-reliant on external praise from others.
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How Narcissists Weaponize Praise
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