Keep it short. Keep it simple. Cover all the main details. Talk with purpose, intent, and clarity.

10. Be Brief

Start your questions with who, what, when, where, why, or how.Instead of asking "Was it scary?", ask "How did you feel?" or "How was it like?"Let them describe it. They are the ones who know.

3. Use Open Ended Questions

A good conversation is like a miniskirt, short enough to retain interest but long enough to cover the subject.

Conversations are not promotional activities. You don't have to show how smart, how cool, or how brave you are.

You need to enter every conversation assuming that you have something to learn. Always assume the other person knows something you don't. So try to listen and learn.

2. Dont Pontificate

There is no reason to show that you are paying attention when you are in fact... paying attention.

If you want to state your opinion, without any opportunity for response, argument, pushback, or growth. Write a blog.

Most of us don't listen with the intent to understand, we listen with the intent to reply.

Speak with clarity and intent. Do not go over the same things over and over.This happens especially when you are talking about yourself or when you are trying to make a point, without even realizing it.

7. Try Not To Repeat Yourself

In the middle of a conversation if you just remembered some exciting past event you want to share or you got a cool question you want to ask, let it be. Let them come, let them go.First, be present and listen to the speaker. Then you may talk about whatever you recalled.

4. Go With The Flow

Try to understand what the person has to say. Be interested in others.Listening takes effort and energy. But if you can't do that, you are just two people shouting barely related sentences in the same place.

9. Listen

If your mouth is open, you are not learning.

It's okay to not know everything in the world. If you don't know something, say you don't know. Err on the side of caution.

5. If You Don't Know Something, Accept It

Not just put down your phone, your car keys, or whatever that is in your hand.But also be present, be in that moment. Be completely involved in the conversation.

1. Do Not Multitask

Every experience is unique and individual. Do not try to equate them with your experiences. Try to listen to others instead of making the conversation about you.

6. Don't Equate Your Experiences With Theirs

People don't care about the exact date, the exact place, or the names that much. They care about you, they care about what you're like, what you have in common.So forget the details. Leave them out.

8. Dont Fixate Too Much On The Details

When your job hinges on how well you talk to people, you learn a lot about how to have conversations -- and that most of us don't converse very well. Celeste Headlee has worked as a radio host for decades, and she knows the ingredients of a great conversation: Honesty, brevity, clarity and a healthy amount of listening. In this insightful talk, she shares 10 useful rules for having better conversations. "Go out, talk to people, listen to people," she says. "And, most importantly, be prepared to be amazed." Visit http://TED.com to get our entire library of TED Talks, transcripts, translations, personalized talk recommendations and more. The TED Talks channel features the best talks and performances from the TED Conference, where the world's leading thinkers and doers give the talk of their lives in 18 minutes (or less). Look for talks on Technology, Entertainment and Design -- plus science, business, global issues, the arts and more. You're welcome to link to or embed these videos, forward them to others and share these ideas with people you know. Become a TED Member: http://ted.com/membership Follow TED on Twitter: http://twitter.com/TEDTalks Like TED on Facebook: http://facebook.com/TED Subscribe to our channel: http://youtube.com/TED TED's videos may be used for non-commercial purposes under a Creative Commons License, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives (or the CC BY – NC – ND 4.0 International) and in accordance with our TED Talks Usage Policy (https://www.ted.com/about/our-organization/our-policies-terms/ted-talks-usage-policy). For more information on using TED for commercial purposes (e.g. employee learning, in a film or online course), please submit a Media Request at https://media-requests.ted.com

communication

Communication

loveandrelationships

Love & Relationships

When your job hinges on how well you talk to people, you learn a lot about how to have conversations -- and that most of us don't converse very well. Celeste Headlee has worked as a radio host for decades, and she knows the ingredients of a great conversation: Honesty, brevity, clarity and a healthy amount of listening. In this insightful talk, she shares 10 useful rules for having better conversations. "Go out, talk to people, listen to people," she says. "And, most importantly, be prepared to be amazed."

Visit http://TED.com to get our entire library of TED Talks, transcripts, translations, personalized talk recommendations and more.

The TED Talks channel features the best talks and performances from the TED Conference, where the world's leading thinkers and doers give the talk of their lives in 18 minutes (or less). Look for talks on Technology, Entertainment and Design -- plus science, business, global issues, the arts and more. You're welcome to link to or embed these videos, forward them to others and share these ideas with people you know. 

Become a TED Member: http://ted.com/membership
Follow TED on Twitter: http://twitter.com/TEDTalks
Like TED on Facebook: http://facebook.com/TED
Subscribe to our channel: http://youtube.com/TED

TED's videos may be used for non-commercial purposes under a Creative Commons License, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives (or the CC BY – NC – ND 4.0 International) and in accordance with our TED Talks Usage Policy (https://www.ted.com/about/our-organization/our-policies-terms/ted-talks-usage-policy). For more information on using TED for commercial purposes (e.g. employee learning, in a film or online course), please submit a Media Request at https://media-requests.ted.com

The TED Talks channel features the best talks and performances from the TED Conference, where the world's leading thinkers and doers give the talk of their lives in 18 minutes (or less). Look for talks on Technology, Entertainment and Design -- plus science, business, global issues, the arts and more. You're welcome to link to or embed these videos, forward them to others and share these ideas with people you know.

TED's videos may be used for non-commercial purposes under a Creative Commons License, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives (or the CC BY – NC – ND 4.0 International) and in accordance with our TED Talks Usage Policy: https://www.ted.com/about/our-organization/our-policies-terms/ted-talks-usage-policy. For more information on using TED for commercial purposes (e.g. employee learning, in a film or online course), please submit a Media Request at https://media-requests.ted.com

STEPHEN COVEY

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