Celeste Headlee: 10 ways to have a better conversation | TED - Deepstash
De-escalate Office Tension

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De-escalate Office Tension

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There is no reason to show that you are paying attention when you are in fact... paying attention.



3.65K reads

1. Do Not Multitask

1. Do Not Multitask

Not just put down your phone, your car keys, or whatever that is in your hand.

But also be present, be in that moment. Be completely involved in the conversation.


2.81K reads

2. Dont Pontificate

You need to enter every conversation assuming that you have something to learn.

Always assume the other person knows something you don't. So try to listen and learn.


2.89K reads


If you want to state your opinion, without any opportunity for response, argument, pushback, or growth. Write a blog.



2.6K reads


If your mouth is open, you are not learning.



2.19K reads

3. Use Open Ended Questions

3. Use Open Ended Questions

Start your questions with who, what, when, where, why, or how.

Instead of asking "Was it scary?", ask "How did you feel?" or "How was it like?"

Let them describe it. They are the ones who know.


2.5K reads

4. Go With The Flow

In the middle of a conversation if you just remembered some exciting past event you want to share or you got a cool question you want to ask, let it be. Let them come, let them go.

First, be present and listen to the speaker. Then you may talk about whatever you recalled.


2.2K reads

5. If You Don't Know Something, Accept It

5. If You Don't Know Something, Accept It

It's okay to not know everything in the world. If you don't know something, say you don't know. Err on the side of caution.


2.11K reads

6. Don't Equate Your Experiences With Theirs

Every experience is unique and individual. Do not try to equate them with your experiences.

Try to listen to others instead of making the conversation about you.


2.02K reads


Conversations are not promotional activities. You don't have to show how smart, how cool, or how brave you are.



1.96K reads

7. Try Not To Repeat Yourself

Speak with clarity and intent. Do not go over the same things over and over.

This happens especially when you are talking about yourself or when you are trying to make a point, without even realizing it.


1.91K reads

8. Dont Fixate Too Much On The Details

8. Dont Fixate Too Much On The Details

People don't care about the exact date, the exact place, or the names that much. They care about you, they care about what you're like, what you have in common.

So forget the details. Leave them out.


1.84K reads

9. Listen

Try to understand what the person has to say. Be interested in others.

Listening takes effort and energy. But if you can't do that, you are just two people shouting barely related sentences in the same place.


1.79K reads


Most of us don't listen with the intent to understand, we listen with the intent to reply.



1.93K reads

10. Be Brief

Keep it short. Keep it simple. Cover all the main details. Talk with purpose, intent, and clarity.


1.93K reads


A good conversation is like a miniskirt, short enough to retain interest but long enough to cover the subject.



2.23K reads



I read books and provide quick dense insightful points of the book. I also omit some points of a book if they are repetitive and are found in various other books. Hope you find it helpful. Cheers!


Do check out the full video.


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