After growing up with an alcoholic, many adults feel different from others with a healthier upbringing. They tend to isolate themselves because they may have trouble functioning with others or be upset when they don’t receive special treatment and allowances for dysfunctional behavior.

Isolation

ACoAs generally don’t deal well with change. Rather than taking the time to identify and process the emotions elicited by a shift in circumstances, many display extreme overactions that serve no purpose.

Overreaction To Things Outside Their Control

Being raised by a parent with alcohol use disorder can lead to many adverse effects, some of which can persist into adulthood, though that’s not always the case. Read on to learn about how addiction can affect the adult children of alcoholics, how to approach a parent about alcoholism as an adult, and how therapy can help family and alcoholics recover from the emotional impacts tied to a parent’s alcohol use.

How Addiction Affects The Adult Children Of Alcoholics

According to the <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/fulltext/2008-06146-003.html">American Psychological Association’s </a>research on ACoA risk factors, patterns in a family dynamic where at least one parent struggled with alcohol use disorder can create and reinforce maladaptive (negative or harmful) thought patterns and behaviors that may present themselves in the adult children of alcoholics. Potential Lasting Impacts Of Parents With Alcohol Use Disorder<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Persistent feelings of inadequacy and insecurity</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Actively avoiding conflict</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Difficulty controlling emotions</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Increased likelihood of developing an alcohol or substance use disorder </li><li>Hyper vigilance</li></ul>

Traits Common to Adult Children Of Alcoholics (ACoA)

The opinions of other people may carry significant weight with ACoAs. They often desire and actively seek the approval of others and have a tough time accepting criticism, to the point of villainizing the other person or ending the conversation altogether.

Trouble Accepting Criticism

Despite first-hand evidence of the harm alcohol and substance use can do to the user and their loved ones, ACoAs are predisposed to develop their own troubles. Researchers credit this to a potential combination of genetics, a history of environments with heavy substance use problems, starting young, or lacking practical coping skills to manage stress.

Substance Use Disorders

You may have felt powerless to help your parent with their addiction as a child and want to support them now, or perhaps they developed an alcohol use disorder later in life. Knowing how to approach a parent about addiction can be challenging, but mental health experts offer tips to outline some potential routes.

How To Support An Alcoholic Parent Through Recovery

Several mental health conditions have been shared among ACoAs. Mental health professionals often recommend cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) to help overcome lingering harmful mental and emotional habits and patterns. <ul><li>PTSD</li><li>Anxiety</li><li>Depression</li><li>Emotional Dysregulation</li><li>Substance Use Disorder</li><li>Alcohol Use Disorder</li></ul>

Mental Health Conditions Common Among ACOAs

ACoAs may be quick to make choices or react to a situation without considering the consequences or legitimately thinking through other options.

Impulsive Behavior

ACoAs may have trouble identifying and accepting the role their own choices play in their various situations and the current state of their lives and relationships. They frequently blame others for the consequences they face and also show difficulties in acknowledging their mistakes.

Perceiving Themselves As A Victim

ACoAs are often heavily judgmental of themselves and the people around them. This behavior can make it hard to feel content in their lives and relationships.

Judgmental Behavior

“You don’t outgrow the effects of an alcoholic family when you leave home. If you grew up in an alcoholic or addicted family, chances are it had a profound impact on you. Often, the full impact isn’t realized until many years later.”

You may have experienced repeated inconsistent behavior as a child of an alcoholic, which can often lead you to have trouble following through with your commitments at work and in personal relationships. ACoAs often over-commit because they may feel a need to care for everyone around them.

Inconsistency

Difficulties establishing and maintaining positive interactions with others often pose many challenges in romantic relationships for ACoAs. They may stay in unhealthy or abusive relationships or experience extreme emotional ups and downs with their partner.

Challenges In Romantic Relationships

Many adult children of alcoholics are unfamiliar with the socially acceptable reaction to situations because that behavior typically wasn’t modeled for them as children. Their instinctual response may be to lie, omit, or exaggerate, even when the truth isn’t problematic and would be an acceptable answer.

Lying When The Truth Creates No Problems

I am an ACOA. Still having to deal with this.

Growing up with a parent that has an alcohol use disorder can leave lasting impacts that don’t end when you become an adult. Learn how a parent’s addiction can affect the adult children of alcoholics, often leading to several common personality traits.

PSYCHOTHERAPIST SHARON MARTIN

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