Be clear with expectations

The controlling partner often says things like, “I want XYZ,” for example, “I want you to do a job.” This conversation style eliminates the feeling of the other person.

You can transform your conversation by just replacing “I want” with “I like to listen.”

Rather than taking control, I invite you to ask yourself if there are other ways to achieve this outcome. How else could we keep everyone safe while still allowing others to have control?

By recognizing that control is a symptom of anxiety, we can begin to learn to manage our anxiety in ne...

Initiate a plan to set boundaries and limits on how you communicate, and how you lead in the relationship. Setting boundaries and limits will show your mate that you respect their needs.

Do things for yourself and do not become too dependent on your mate. Create and maintain your own identity in the relationship.

Work on building your confidence and tackling low self-esteem issues. Oftentimes if you don’t feel good about yourself you will begin to project those feeling on your mate.

Own your controlling behaviors and admit that you have a problem. Ask your partner to help you work on changing this habit.

Therapy can help you identify where the root of the controlling behavior comes from. Oftentimes, the person who seeks to control has been controlled in the past or has lost a sense of control in some aspect of their lives.

Letting go is key. This doesn’t mean that you should forget your past experiences. On the contrary, we must remember to learn from our past, but never allow ourselves to remain there.

One of the manifestations of anxiety is controlling behavior. Find the source and address it. This may oft...

Don’t try to fit in everyone’s shoes and be the one to know-it-all. Everyone has its own battles, and they know how to tackle them. People will ask for advice when needed.

You may have some insecurities which force you to control the behavior of others. Learn about them and let go of your insecurities . Your past experiences might have developed those vulnerabilities. You need to understand that you can...

Two intents to choose from:

• The intent to control, avoid, and protect against pain.
• The intent to learn about loving yourself and sharing your love with others.

When your intent is to control, you're avoiding responsibility for your self-worth and well-beingmaking s...

Because controlling behavior usually stems from low self-esteem or a result of a traumatic experience, it’s important to address the cause of the behavior.

Acknowledging is generally the first step to changing the behavior. You will need to retrain your mind, the change of behavior will fo...