"Solving" emotions

• The impostor syndrome is like a nagging feeling that our success might be due to luck, good timing, or even a computer error.
• It makes us think we have done nothing, and that we secretly are a fraud for taking undue credit.
• The person suffering from an impostor syndrome lives in fear that soon the 'secret' about his true nature will be uncovered.

The antidote to the impostor syndrome is self-efficacy, which is about learning one's own value.

Self-efficacy is described as a perceived ability to succeed at a particular task. It means having rock-solid confidence, a supercharged belief in your ability. 

1. Narcissistic HCPs: They may seem charming at first but think themselves to be superior. They insult, humiliate, mislead, and lack empathy while demanding respect and attention.
2. Borderline HCPs: They start out friendly but can suddenly change into being extremely angry. During this rage, they may seek revenge for minor insults.
3. Antisocial (or Sociopathic/Psychopathic) HCPs There extreme charm is a cover for their drive to dominate others through lying, stealing, publicly humiliating people, physically injuring them, and sometimes murdering them.

While these are disorders and these people are suffering, mental health professionals would advise you to keep your distance from them, if at all possible.

Everybody has bad days or weeks. To tell if someone is a High Conflict Person, we can look for four traits of behavior.

1. Lots of all-or-nothing thinking: When problems arise, it is their solution or no solution. They don't compromise or listen to different points of view.
2. Intense or unmanaged emotions: HCPs become very emotional about their points of view. Their responses are out of proportion to whatever is happening.
3. Extreme behavior or threats: They engage in extreme negative behavior that includes physical harm, spreading lies about someone else, emotional manipulation, or obsessive contact.
4. A preoccupation with blaming others: They frequently blame other people close to them or people in authority over them.

Nobody is perfect, but if someone has all four traits, they almost certainly are an HCP.

• Black and White Thinking: There are heaping piles of nuance to most things.
• Unrealistic Expectations: Cynicism is bad, but a little skepticism is essential.
• Selective Attention: If your brain is always looking for the negative, you’re gonna find it.
• Disqualifying the Positive: Sometimes we go into problem-solving mode and focus only on what is broken.
• Predicting the Future: “This will never work” or “They’re going to think I’m stupid.” You don’t know the future. So don’t act like it.
• “Should” thoughts: It’s usually just an insistence that the world bends to your will and is a great way to amplify frustration.

Doing little positive things is better for happiness than occasionally bagging an elephant:

• Enjoyable stuff
• Achievement stuff: Defeat your goals in single combat and feel like a conquering hero
• Meaningful stuff: Do volunteer work or just help someone
• Physical stuff: Exercise. Not only keeps you alive, but it’s like miracle grow for your brain
• Social stuff.

You have probably met a large number of friends through just a handful of people. Those are your superconnectors. Rekindle those friendships and ask them if there is anyone you should meet.

Don’t be interesting. Be interested.

• Listen to people and ask them to tell you more. 
• When they mention something you have in common, point it out.
• Be enthusiastic and encouraging.

FOMO is the fear of missing out, especially the latest internet hysteria. But FOMO is not the real problem - Reverse FOMO is.  By always being online, you are missing out on real life. An overwhelming online presence is replacing all the things that really make a good life.

Tech is only a tool. How you use it can make it good or not so good.

We don't need a lifehack to control our phone. We need values to ensure that technology serves us, and not the other way around.

Find out what you value in life. Then ask how technology supports those values. Set rules that work for them. If you don't, tech will fill that void by default.

Your first impressions are usually pretty accurate. But whether they are wrong or right, first impressions affect us in a big way and we are slow to change them.

You have to be willing to update them quite rapidly. 

• Studies show that if someone seems extroverted, confident, religious or conscientious, they probably are.
• We all pay more attention to pretty people, and so we tend to take the time to evaluate them.
• If you want to know if someone is good at their job, watch them do it for 30-60 seconds. 
• Funny people are smart: Effective humor production acts as an honest indicator of intelligence in humans.

• physical (the way your body responds when you experience an emotion),.
• cognitive (the thoughts that go along with the emotion).
• behavioral (the things you do or have urges to do when you experience an emotion). 

Narcissists lack empathy, they usually don’t work hard, and in a few weeks to a few months, they make the people around them miserable. And narcissism is very hard to change. So, if at all possible, just stay away.

Clinical psychologist Al Bernstein recommends you kiss up to them or at least keep your mouth shut until you can get out of there.

There’s this concept called “narcissistic injury.” Pointing out a narcissist isn’t all they think they are can be like pulling the pin on a grenade. A grenade you have to see every day of your life.

One of the biggest truths you will ever come to realize is that hard work, ambition and targets give actual meaning to your life. 

Furthermore, once you have given a purpose to your work, you will most certainly see that motivation goes a long way into making someone's life more interesting to live.

Whoever believes that happiness knows no bound is in for a big surprise: happiness, like everything in this world, knows limits and very often we perceive this fact maybe just a bit too harsh. 

In order to enjoy life and to get to feel happy, as much as it is possible, one should first be able to deal with difficult situations. Therefore, maturity tends to be seen as the key to ensuring a satisfactory life.

Research shows that 2.5 to 4 hours after waking is when your brain is sharpest. Early morning is also when you’re most disciplined.

Do the work of your choice early in the day.

When the afternoon brain fog hits, it's often just because of our natural circadian rhythm.

First, take a break. Get a snack or a power nap if you can. 

What you need next is a mini-version of your morning ritual. Review your goals and the progress you’ve made this morning. Nothing is more motivating than progress.