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How to Keep a Long-Distance Friendship Alive

Keep creating shared experiences

Keep creating shared experiences

When you see a friend regularly, you develop a collection of shared memories. You will also have an intimate understanding of what they're up to generally. If you're separated long-term, those experiences will shrink.

It's important to create something you share with the other individual, not just exchanging information about past experiences. The more opportunities you give yourself to connect, the more organically you'll get to know your friend's new life.

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IDEA EXTRACTED FROM:

How to Keep a Long-Distance Friendship Alive

How to Keep a Long-Distance Friendship Alive

https://www.thecut.com/2017/03/how-to-keep-a-long-distance-friendship-alive.html

thecut.com

4

Key Ideas

Close friendship

To be best friends, you are committed to always be on standby. It's not that hard to be there for someone when you can physically be there, but when you're separated by state or time zone, you have to figure out a new way to be close.

Keep creating shared experiences

When you see a friend regularly, you develop a collection of shared memories. You will also have an intimate understanding of what they're up to generally. If you're separated long-term, those experiences will shrink.

It's important to create something you share with the other individual, not just exchanging information about past experiences. The more opportunities you give yourself to connect, the more organically you'll get to know your friend's new life.

It's going to take more effort

The idea that you can sustain a friendship and pick up right where you left off after long stretches of silence is a myth. A relationship grows stronger through nurturing.
Although long-distance hacks can work for a time, there's no replacement for in-person interaction. It's more expensive and more of a hassle, but it's the best way to recharge a long-distance friendship.

Treat it like a long-distance romance

The pain of seeing your friend leave helps to reinforce how much they mean to you.

It can be helpful to talk about your hopes or expectations about how often you'll talk, or when you'll see each other. Talk about the value of your friendship.

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The gift of vulnerability

Ideal friends know how to show weakness. They let us know awkward and embarrassing things about themselves.

They show how much they trust us by confessing mistakes and hardships that have the potential to open them up to possible humiliation from the world beyond.

Embracing and understanding imperfection

Ideals friends are genuinely interested in our hardships; they are not shocked by the odd and stupid things we've done.

They are not judgmental or critical of our weaknesses, because they are well aware of their own more troubled sides.

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Socrates

“Be slow to fall into friendship; but when thou art in, continue firm & constant.”

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Don't Gossip

Most of us want to be popular and resort to tactics like showing of and gossiping. The long term affects of being a gossip monger (losing trust and respect) outweigh any short term popularity you get.

Don't judge your friends

Most of our judgments towards our friends are wrong, and doing so leads to you being judged wrongly too.

Do not form opinions and pass judgments (not even mentally) and be happy to see your friendships blossom.

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“Life-Extending” Time

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“Foundation-Building” Time

If you’re spending more time putting out fires than building the right foundations, you’ll never get out ahead of your to-do list.

Spend time building relationships, identifying opportunities, time for prevention and planning.

“Do-Nothing” Time

Investing in do-nothing time will help us slow down and experience a different pace of life, in which time’s value is not measured by its productivity.

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