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The Outside Vs. The Inside

The Outside Vs. The Inside

The outside is the way you look, behave and act, while the inside is how you feel and what you think. People only see what’s outside.

When changing the outside without changing the inside, your body language comes off as inauthentic, exaggerated and anything but confident. Unfortunately, this is what most body language books will tell you.

It is better to change your internal state, as it will automatically reflect in your body language and behaviour.

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MORE IDEAS ON THIS

Interrupting Someone

Interrupting Someone

Sometimes it is necessary to interrupt someone as they might be a very talkactive person that never stops talking.

  1. Show appreciation and say something positive.
  2. Take something th...

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105 reads

Power

Power

Power refers to skills, talents and competence. There are three dimensions of power:

  • Individual vs. structural: Talents that are learned and trained (e.g. knowledge, charisma) vs. things you are born wi...

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113 reads

Using Breaks When Speaking

Using Breaks When Speaking

Using breaks when speaking helps with emphasizing your points. However, don’t just pause because you know how important breaks are as they might be more confusing than helpful. Instead, use them strategically after you said something important

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123 reads

The Hot Person

The Hot Person

... is the person you want to impress with your behaviour. This could be a guy at a party, your boss or someone else.

Around the hot person, you tend to act “weird” and somewhat inauthentic to impress them, ...

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188 reads

Finishing Sentences

Finishing Sentences

Emphasize the ending of your sentences. Lower your voice after you finished it or raise it, if it is a question. Lowering your voice at the end of the question can also have a very powerful impact.

You don’t have to do this ...

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118 reads

Status And Ranks

Status And Ranks

Ranks are different from status. Remember that someone can have a high or low status, depending on what they do in a certain situation.

Just because someone has a higher rank, doesn’t mean their status is higher in t...

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114 reads

Analysing Behaviour

Analysing Behaviour

When analysing behaviour, pay attention to these five things:

  • Frequency: How often the behaviour occurs.
  • Order: In which order the behaviour occurs.

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Types Of Emotions

Types Of Emotions

There are three types of emotions:

  • Primary emotions that show what is important to us in the moment.
  • Secondary emotions which are the emotional reaction to our primary e...

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142 reads

The Role Of Other People

The Role Of Other People

“Whether someone is treated as something special does not depend on the person themselves, but on the behaviour and actions of the people present.”

Just like a famous person wouldn’t be recognised if no one payed attention t...

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Deepening Your Learning

Deepening Your Learning

When it comes to body language, practice is essential. Only by observing closely and taking time to reflect you can truly understand human behaviour. This applies to both understanding behaviour of others and your own – a...

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Expanding Your Island

Expanding Your Island

Just like you have your own island, so does everyone else. The closer their island is to yours, to more likely you are to understand them. Maybe your islands overlap, which means that you share the same values etc.

Your goal...

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Your Presence In A Room

Your Presence In A Room

  • Imagine a 90° angle in front of you. Make sure that the people you want to influence are in that 90° field.
  • To reach everyone in the audience, even the people in the back, you don’t necessarily have to speak louder. I...

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Three Impact Fields

Three Impact Fields

  1. Ego: The persons that behaves (= you).
  2. Room: The place of the interaction.
  3. People: The people influenced by you.

...

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Figuring Out Your Desired Impression

Figuring Out Your Desired Impression

As we have already seen, knowing how you view yourself and how others perceive you is important. After figuring these out, you can think about how you actually want to be perceived by others and the necessary steps you need to take in order to achieve tha...

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180 reads

Self-awareness

Self-awareness

Self-awareness is the key to knowing what impression you leave on other people and how to improve your interactions with them. You can achieve self-awareness through reflection. Meditate on your internal state on a daily basis and feel yo...

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277 reads

Eliminate Filler Words

Eliminate Filler Words

Words such as “uh” or “uhm” should be reduced as much as possible.

If you catch yourself during any other behaviour instead, try to say “uhm” a little longer as you normally would. This will give you and others time to think and can put emph...

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112 reads

Different Ranks

Different Ranks

In an organization or in society in general, there are different ranks, for instance a politician is ranked higher than a prisoner.

People with the same rank associate more as they feel more comfortable arou...

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Using The Halo Effect

Using The Halo Effect

We often attribute characteristics to someone based on one single characteristic. Let’s say someone is attractive: You tend to think they are also smart, rich and live a good life even though you don’t know.

Be aware of that...

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Types Of Gestures (P. Ekman, W. V. Friesen)

Types Of Gestures (P. Ekman, W. V. Friesen)

  • Illustrators: Gestures to illustrate something, e.g. creating a little space between your hands to illustrate closeness.
  • Emblems: Gestures with a certain meaning in a culture e.g. shaking your head, p...

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Things To Consider

Things To Consider

  • We are always communicating. You might know the famous quote by Paul Watzlawick: “One cannot not communicate”.
  • When interpreting body language, consider the entire context: Someone might cross their a...

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High Vs. Low Status

High Vs. Low Status

Your status can either be high (dominant) or low (submissive) and is defined by all the things you do and don’t do such as how often you blink, your loudness, your movements and speed etc.

The two types aren...

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Interpreting Body Language

Interpreting Body Language

When it comes to interpreting body language, I recommend trusting your intuition as you will unconsciously pick up subtle changes and micro expressions which you might not be able to explain rationally.

In t...

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142 reads

Status Seesaw

Status Seesaw

Your status is dependent on the situation and the people you are interacting with. One person automatically has a higher status. You can visualise this with a seesaw that is up on one side and low on the other but that can change any time.

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123 reads

Observing Others

Observing Others

This is also essential when wanting to manage your own impression: Recognizing what the other person is doing and maybe thinking and feeling.

You can improve your awareness of others by doing some simple exercises:

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    The Island Model (Vera F. Birkenbihl)

    The Island Model (Vera F. Birkenbihl)

    According to the island model, everyone lives on their own island.

    • Your island = the past: Your experiences, morals/values, knowledge/education, talents/skills, personality.
    • Your...

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    254 reads

    Problems When Interpreting People’s Behaviour

    Problems When Interpreting People’s Behaviour

    When interacting with strangers, we only know what we can see. Our interpretations of their actions are often wrong as we don’t know the entire context.

    • Assume people have good intentions and they will ...

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    216 reads

    10 Steps To A Self-confident Appearance

    10 Steps To A Self-confident Appearance

    1. Get to know the impact fields of ego - space - people.
    2. Sharpen your perception of yourself and others.
    3. Define your desired personal impact

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    641 reads

    Self-worth

    Self-worth

    Self-worth is directly linked to your status. When feeling confident in yourself and having a high sense of self-efficacy, your status will automatically increase.

    Raising other people’s confidence is not on...

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    116 reads

    Dealing With Embarrassing Moments

    Dealing With Embarrassing Moments

    In moments you have embarrassed yourself, you have three options:

    • Ignore it and hope the people around you forget about it (which is usually not the case).
    • Explain yourself and g...

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    459 reads

    Overriding And Subordinate Objectives

    Overriding And Subordinate Objectives

    There are two types of objectives people aim for:

    • Overriding objectives are things you are mostly unaware of, desires stored in your unconscious mind. They mostly drive your behaviour without you even r...

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    161 reads

    Improving Your Voice

    Improving Your Voice

    Often, what you say is not as important as how you say it. Our voices communicate feelings, even though we might not want it.

    The reason why your voice sounds differently on audio is because when speaking, y...

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    129 reads

    How You And Others View Yourself

    How You And Others View Yourself

    Have you noticed that you act differently around certain people? It might be because you want to give off a certain impression around them or fulfil their expectations (or at least those you think they have).

    You are not playing only...

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    115 reads

    Entering A Room

    Entering A Room

    Give the door as little attention as possible and instead focus on the people in the room. This includes not looking at the door but facing the room. Again, imagine you did this every day. You can open the door with one hand and close it with the other wi...

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    CURATED FROM

    CURATED BY

    sonnixo

    Psychology student with a passion for learning and developing as a person.

    This is a summary of the German book "Die Power der persönlichen Präsenz" by actor and psychologist Benedikt Crisand.

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    Everything you are capable of doing in this world is inside the comfort zone or outside the comfort zone. Things inside the comfort zone are easy for you to do. They take little to no effort to do, there is no mental resistance holding you back. Things outside the comfort zone are facing a lot of...

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    Authenticity is achieved when we are outside what we are inside. Putting on an inauthentic self (faking authenticity) is tiring and also damaging to our mental health.

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    The Inside View

    Very often, when we look at a task, we take the outside view by forgetting about the emotional component. And that's how something we may actually enjoy becomes a chore.

    • The inside view requires you to focus on the middle of the task that you know you usually enjoy, not on startin...

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