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Why Too Much Empathy Can Actually Be Harmful
The threats of being emphatic
While empathy can make both you and the ones around feel better at times, there are also important dangers worth taking into account:
- Empathy can often lead to unjustified anger
- It can cause guilt and thinking that your own happiness has come at the cost or may have even caused another person's misery.
- it can result in a great amount of fatigue.
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Sympathy vs. empathy
Although many people tend to confuse the notions of empathy and sympathy, these two are quite different.
While sympathy implies only the fact of feeling concerned about someone, empathy goes way beyond that and it might result in harming the person who is displaying and feeling it.
The three types of empathy
Empathy is the ability to share another person's emotions after having reached a good understanding of their suffering. There are three main types of empathy:
- Cognitive empathy, which is defined as the ability to understand and to share someone else's emotions by imagining one's self in their shoes
- Emotional empathy, which is based on shared feelings
- Compassionate empathy, which is characterized by the need to actually help the other.
The threats of being emphatic
While empathy can make both you and the ones around feel better at times, there are also important dangers worth taking into account:
- Empathy can often lead to unjustified anger
- It can cause guilt and thinking that your own happiness has come at the cost or may have even caused another person's misery.
- it can result in a great amount of fatigue.
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A Victim Complex sufferer is a person who has difficulties when dealing with trauma, in any shape that this can take.
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Self-compassion
Whenever you feel like you have not done enough under certain circumstances, try thinking about the reasons behind your decision. In other words, practice self-compassion towards yourself.
Especially in times of crisis, self-compassion can enable us to handle more easily our guilt related to the fact that most of us are just staying at home, while others are fighting the virus directly, like the medical staff.
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Coping in uncertainty
Whether you are a manager, teacher, or physician, you are a leader in your organization or community. In times of distress, it can be difficult to know how to help others best and motivate them to ...
Coaching with compassion
In the face of uncertainty, it is natural to hold on to the status quo and stick to as-normal-as-possible routines and tasks. This can work when the context is predictable, and the goal is clearly defined.
However, during periods of volatility and stress, a taskmaster mode could be a mistake. The individual can feel pressured or obligated, which will make them negative. It is more important to prioritize your team's needs and create an environment of trust and support. It will unleash positive emotions, and the person is likely to feel more confident, hopeful, and willing to consider new ideas.
How to coach with compassion
We can follow six steps to help others, using the acronym “REACH”:
- Resonance. Check in with each person without discussing a list of tasks. The goal is to create a supportive and positive relationship.
- Empathy. Shift your concern from wanting to be understood to understanding others.
- Awareness. Be aware of your mindset and emotions. Emotions are contagious.
- Compassion. Try to focus on the needs of others and encourage caring and warmth to help another person in their development.
- Hope. Spreading positive emotions will uplift others when you help them to picture a brighter and better future.
- Humor. Stress shuts us down to new ideas and experiences. By keeping things light, you remind others to keep smiling. In turn, it will reduce stress and increase satisfaction, productivity, and performance.