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Difficult Relationships: 5 Easy Ways To Improve Them, Backed By Research

The two sides of a relationship

The two sides of a relationship

Sometimes our closest and most important relationships are also the most difficult. Our relationships are both cooperative and competitive. We work together with the ones we love but also have a bit of rivalry going on at times. That is why friends and loved ones can have such a positive influence; these relationships can also lead to envy.

We can get close to the people we love while making sure they feel like we’re on their side, and not a rival to be outdone.

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Difficult Relationships: 5 Easy Ways To Improve Them, Backed By Research

Difficult Relationships: 5 Easy Ways To Improve Them, Backed By Research

https://www.bakadesuyo.com/2015/10/difficult-relationships/

bakadesuyo.com

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Key Ideas

The two sides of a relationship

Sometimes our closest and most important relationships are also the most difficult. Our relationships are both cooperative and competitive. We work together with the ones we love but also have a bit of rivalry going on at times. That is why friends and loved ones can have such a positive influence; these relationships can also lead to envy.

We can get close to the people we love while making sure they feel like we’re on their side, and not a rival to be outdone.

Spill Some Coffee

Doing everything to make your life seems perfect may make you a target for resentment.

People who inspire the most trust are those who show warmth and competence. While we may be competent, warmth may be lacking. To ensure you don't inspire envy, screw up a little. It will make you seem more approachable. Embarrassing yourself makes you a lot more human.

The Little Things

Just asking people, "Is this a good time to talk?" increases compliance with requests.

Show that you care by doing little things, even if they're ridiculous.

Imitate The One You Love

Perspective-taking (thinking about the other side's interests) will help to meet the needs of both parties. Mimicry helps with perspective-taking. Sit as they do, fold your hands as they do, etc. It helps us truly understand what another person is experiencing.

Happy couples that have been married for many years tend to look alike due to perspective-taking and mimicry.

Ask Them For Advice

The way to get others to see your perspective is to ask them for advice. When we ask them for advice, they put themselves in our shoes and look at the world from our point of view.

A common fear is that we may seem less competent, but when we ask for advice, as long as the request is not completely obvious, we appear more competent. Advice signals respect and deference.

Apologize The Right Way

To stop a difficult relationship from getting even worse, apologize in the right way: Promise to change. It is one of the most important components of an apology.

When you're reluctant to apologize, try focusing on the results you might achieve as opposed to who is right or wrong.

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Arguing over text

Couples who argue over text; apologize over text; and/or attempt to make decisions over text, are less happy in their relationships.

Not having kids

This isn't to say you can't be happy if you have kids--it's just to understand that it's normal to not feel happy sometimes. 

Many couples put pressure on themselves to feel perfectly fulfilled once they have a long-term partnership with children, but the reality of kids is that they're very stressful on relationships.

Having friends that stay married

Research shows you're 75 percent more likely to get divorced if a friend or a close relative has already done the deed.

Attending to the health of one's friends' marriages might serve to support and enhance the durability of one's own relationship.

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Resentments Build

Timeliness is crucial for workplace apologies. Tensions can easily escalate to the point of making work unbearable for one or more partie...

Consider Legal Entanglements

In some situations, an apology can equate to an admission of guilt. If there are any concerns about the repercussions of an apology, you may want to consult with your legal department before making it.

However, if you messed up and the results are catastrophic, it's important to own the mistake and accept the consequences. If you try and shift the blame, someone else might pay, and others may lose respect for you. 

Don't Assume Fault that Isn't Yours

If you are wrongly blamed for a mistake, make your case and speak up for yourself. 

You may be tempted to cover for others, and while helping someone else out of a tough spot may seem noble, this could eventually evolve into someone using you as a doormat, or escaping responsibility for repeated mistakes.

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Be sincere

The only time to apologize is when you’re genuinely remorseful. 

Avoid any apology that is forced. The person you are apologizing to will pick up on your ...

Be honest and vulnerable

In order to show your sincerity when apologizing, you must be honest and vulnerable. That can lead to the cultivation of meaningful relationships. It can also lead to rejection, which is what makes it so scary. 

When you apologize, be willing to share openly and candidly, allowing emotions to flow freely, so that you can be fully seen.

Admit fault

Take responsibility for your actions and admit your mistakes or transgressions. State them out loud. Yes, it will be scary. It will feel shameful for a time. But it is worth it.

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