Replace your advice monster
The best way to tame your advice monster is to replace it with a new habit of staying curious. Questions that may help you achieve this:
- Ask the other person what they think is the real challenge? It helps them to find the important issue and prevents you from providing them with a quick, wrong answer.
- Ask, "What Else?" The first answer the other person will give you is never their only answer. It will help them to delve deeper into the situation.
- "What do you want?" This is a very powerful question. When they know what they want, they get to move toward that action with autonomy and confidence.
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Your advice monster
When somebody asks you for advice about something, and before you can gain the full context, your 'advice monster' is like, "Oh, oh, I've got something to say here."
The problem is not with giving advice, but when giving advice becomes your default response.
Ways advice-giving goes bad
- We're solving the wrong problem: The first challenge that shows up is seldom the real issue.
- Our advice is not nearly as good as we think it is: Cognitive bias makes us think we're brilliant at things even though we aren't.
- Our advice mons...
Getting the best advice
- Ask a person who has the right expertise, experience, or knowledge you want. To improve your chance of getting what you want from an expert, use a known connection.
- Find out if you have a mutual friend in common. Ask them if they would be willing to reach out on your behalf for an ...
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