Learn more about personaldevelopment with this collection
How to handle conflicts
How to identify and regulate emotions
How to develop self-awareness
Become Clear On Who You Are
When we get clear on who we really are and what we stand for, we have a strong sense of self.
If you have been pleasing others for a long time, you may have lost sight of what is important to you. You may not have an opinion of your own.
Find out what your core values are - what aspects of your life are most important to you. Our values drive every decision and choice. Your values will assist you to say "no" when you mean "no."
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MORE IDEAS ON THIS
“Your beliefs become your thoughts, your thoughts become your words, your words become your actions, your actions become your habits and your habits become your values.”
MAHATMA GANDHI
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The Word "No"
If we always say "yes" to others, we are saying "no" to ourselves. We lose sight of our own priorities and instead live by other people's standards. Saying "no" at first may bring feelings of guilt. But "no" is just a word.
You may find it difficult to say no or may fear to disapp...
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Drop the Label
When you label yourself with "I am...," it has the potential to become your identity. "I am a people pleaser. I am not liked."
Never describe yourself as a people pleaser. Instead, describe your behavior as you make a decision to change it.
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Develop Awareness Of Your Behavior
People are often unaware of their people-pleasing behavior. The habit can become so ingrained that it's automatic.
It takes full commitment to stay aware with an intention to change. Write a list of all the things you would normally do in an effort to please. Take note of ...
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Pause Before Responding
Decide to pause before you respond. It could prevent you from responding the usual way. If you are unsure of how you would like to respond, let the person know you will get back to them. Or let them know you will need to check your calendar first.
Don't beat yourself up fo...
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Beliefs And Values
You have a set of beliefs behind each one of your values. If your beliefs around your values are too general, they can prevent you from changing your people-pleasing habits.
For example, "I am always there for people who need me" is too general and could include every ...
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Being a people-pleaser
If you ever say "yes", when you want to say "no", or nod in agreement when you don't agree, you've probably experienced people pleasing.
People-pleasing is linked to a person's self-worth. A people pleaser hopes that saying yes will help him/her feel liked, but th...
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People Pleasing
People who are driven by pleasing people are neither honest or authentic because they may say yes to things they don't really want to do just because they do not want to disagree because of the fear of being disliked.
If you find yourself to be a people-pleaser, rethink y...
Why Personal Core Values Are Important
Values are a part of us. They highlight what we stand for. Values guide our behavior, providing us with a personal code of conduct.
When we honor our personal core values consistently, we experience fulfillment.
Think about who you are
We are more likely to create a habit when it connects to our sense of identity.
Some habits are representations of certain important goals or values. If you manage to link certain behaviours to your sense of identity, it might help to establish those habits.
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