Learn more about personaldevelopment with this collection
How to handle conflicts
How to identify and regulate emotions
How to develop self-awareness
The Word "No"
If we always say "yes" to others, we are saying "no" to ourselves. We lose sight of our own priorities and instead live by other people's standards. Saying "no" at first may bring feelings of guilt. But "no" is just a word.
You may find it difficult to say no or may fear to disappoint the other people. Because of this, you may try to find lengthy excuses for why you can't help with their request. You don't owe an explanation, but it can feel easier to give one.
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MORE IDEAS ON THIS
“Your beliefs become your thoughts, your thoughts become your words, your words become your actions, your actions become your habits and your habits become your values.”
MAHATMA GANDHI
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Become Clear On Who You Are
When we get clear on who we really are and what we stand for, we have a strong sense of self.
If you have been pleasing others for a long time, you may have lost sight of what is important to you. You may not have an opinion of your own.
Find out what your core valu...
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Being a people-pleaser
If you ever say "yes", when you want to say "no", or nod in agreement when you don't agree, you've probably experienced people pleasing.
People-pleasing is linked to a person's self-worth. A people pleaser hopes that saying yes will help him/her feel liked, but th...
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Drop the Label
When you label yourself with "I am...," it has the potential to become your identity. "I am a people pleaser. I am not liked."
Never describe yourself as a people pleaser. Instead, describe your behavior as you make a decision to change it.
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Develop Awareness Of Your Behavior
People are often unaware of their people-pleasing behavior. The habit can become so ingrained that it's automatic.
It takes full commitment to stay aware with an intention to change. Write a list of all the things you would normally do in an effort to please. Take note of ...
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Pause Before Responding
Decide to pause before you respond. It could prevent you from responding the usual way. If you are unsure of how you would like to respond, let the person know you will get back to them. Or let them know you will need to check your calendar first.
Don't beat yourself up fo...
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Beliefs And Values
You have a set of beliefs behind each one of your values. If your beliefs around your values are too general, they can prevent you from changing your people-pleasing habits.
For example, "I am always there for people who need me" is too general and could include every ...
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You need to learn when to say both “yes” and “no.”
Say “yes” to new experiences and opportunities. This doesn’t mean agreeing to every request anyone makes of you, but saying yes to things you find valuable, even when they intimidate you.
Saying “no” is as important as saying yes. Saying no is the only way to keep enough room in your life f...
Be strategic with "yes" and "no"
Sometimes you simply need to say no. Other times you can say, "No, unless..." and add stipulations. The same is true with yes: Saying, "Yes, but only if..." creates guidelines.
Always consider the effect of a request on your most important goals. An automat...
Ways to Say No
- The Indirect “No."Say no without feeling uncomfortable by explaining the reasons why you can't.
- The “Let me get back to you.”Buy yourself time to think if you could do it and come up of a way to say no.
- The Conditional “Yes.”With...
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