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The Art Of Saying No: 4 Ways To Reclaim Your Time - Darius Foroux

Ways to Say No

  • The Indirect “No."Say no without feeling uncomfortable by explaining the reasons why you can't.
  • The “Let me get back to you.”Buy yourself time to think if you could do it and come up of a way to say no.
  • The Conditional “Yes.”With this conditional yes, we force people to prioritize. It shows that you have other things on your plate.
  • The Direct “No.”When you have mastered saying no, you stop giving excuses and start to say no firmly. Practice makes perfect.

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The Art Of Saying No: 4 Ways To Reclaim Your Time - Darius Foroux

The Art Of Saying No: 4 Ways To Reclaim Your Time - Darius Foroux

https://dariusforoux.com/the-art-of-saying-no/

dariusforoux.com

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Key Idea

Ways to Say No

  • The Indirect “No."Say no without feeling uncomfortable by explaining the reasons why you can't.
  • The “Let me get back to you.”Buy yourself time to think if you could do it and come up of a way to say no.
  • The Conditional “Yes.”With this conditional yes, we force people to prioritize. It shows that you have other things on your plate.
  • The Direct “No.”When you have mastered saying no, you stop giving excuses and start to say no firmly. Practice makes perfect.

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Josh Billings

“Half of the troubles of this life can be traced to saying yes too quickly and not saying no soon enough.”

Josh Billings
Warren Buffett
Warren Buffett

"The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything."

"Saying no is its own leadership capability. It is not just a peripheral skill. As with any ability, we start with limited experience."

"Saying no is its own leadership capability. It is not just a peripheral skill. As with any ability, we start with limited experience."

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Fear of rejection

The main reason why we are having a hard time declining other people's requests is that we are afraid to be rejected. We are afraid that people might think negatively. 

Stop Saying Yes When You Want to Say No
  • Saying No Doesn’t Mean You’re a Bad Person: Saying no doesn't mean that you are being rude, selfish, or unkind. These are all unhelpful beliefs that make it hard to say no. Learning where these beliefs have come from is a great way to learn to let go of them.
  • Knowing Your Value:  Learning to say no is realizing that you are valuable and choosing your own opinion about yourself over others.
  • Is It Really Worth It?: Learning to say no is also deciding if saying yes is really worth it. Think about the anguish, stress, and resentment that saying yes has caused you. Wouldn't it be so much easier and straightforward to just say no in the first place?
Helpful Tips for Saying No
  • Be direct.
  • Don't apologize and give all sorts of reasons.
  • Be honest.
  • Don't delay your response.
  • Be polite.
  • Practice saying no. This will get you feeling a lot more comfortable with saying no.
  • Know your worth. Don't mind what other think of you.
Assertiveness
Assertiveness

Assertiveness is behaving in one's own best interests, standing up for oneself without being anxious or guilty, expressing one's honest feelings comfortably, and exercising one's right without deny...

Three Types of Behaviour
  1. Passive behavior: it isn't honest but geared towards being nice to others.
  2. Assertive behavior: it is direct and honest, respecting others but focusing on the self.
  3. Aggressive behavior: it is harmful, egoistic and is about controlling others.
The Middle Path

Most people are either passive or aggressive. Passive people are afraid of confrontation and lie easily.
Aggressive people are not liked, as they can trample others for their own benefit.

The middle ground, assertiveness, is where you want to be: Respectful, firm, observant, and detached.