When Asking for Help, Appeal to People’s Self-Interest, Never to Their Mercy

• Don't frame your request.
• Don't imply that you're above the other person.
• Don't make your request too specific.
• Say what you can't do, so the other can tell you what they think is the best course.
• Show respect by acknowledging the capabilities of others.

1. Demonstrate that you've tried to help yourself. Briefly explain what you've tried independently so they know you've tried to solve your problem for yourself before.
2. Demonstrate that you've acted on the person's advice previously so they won’t be weary you might be wasti...

... activates the same brain regions that physical pain does. And in the workplace, where we’re typically keen to demonstrate as much expertise, competence, and confidence as possible, it can feel particularly uncomfortable to make such requests.

The key to a successful request fo...