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The anxiety of asking for help

The anxiety of asking for help

... activates the same brain regions that physical pain does. And in the workplace, where we’re typically keen to demonstrate as much expertise, competence, and confidence as possible, it can feel particularly uncomfortable to make such requests.

The key to a successful request for help is to shift the focus to the benefits of helping. You want people to feel that they would be helping because they want to, not because they must, and that they’re in control of the decision. 

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Research Results On Helpfulness

  • Studies indicate that people are willing to help more often than we expect.
  • Studies suggest that we underestimate how much effort those who do agree to help will put in.
  • Those who help others get to feel better with themselves than those who don’t.

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What Not To Do When Asking For Help

What Not To Do When Asking For Help

  • Instruct people.
  • Tell or imply that they should help our debt they don’t have a choice about it.
  • Using unnecessary prefaces makes people feel trapped.
  • Profusely apologizing makes the experience seem less positive.
  • Emphasizing reciprocity can make people feel i...

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Reinforce A Request For Help

  • In-group: Assuring that you’re on the helper’s team and the team’s importance taps into our need to belong to and perpetuate supportive social circles. 
  • Positive identity: Creating or enhancing their recognition that they are uniquely placed to provide assistance and th...

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paupau

Sometimes, all you need to do is look at things from a different perspective.

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Tips To Better Ask For Help

Tips To Better Ask For Help

  1. Demonstrate that you've tried to help yourself. Briefly explain what you've tried independently so they know you've tried to solve your problem for yourself before.
  2. Demonstrate that you've acted on the person's advice previously so they won’t be weary you might be wasti...

The GLAD Rule - G

[G]ive them what they need to know, not everything you know.

We’re often tempted to demonstrate our knowledge or expertise by heaping on a wealth of information. But that just dilutes the main argument.

The Effects Of Asking For Help

The Effects Of Asking For Help

Asking for help can aid us when times are tough and can give others the opportunity to make a difference while helping them feel more comfortable to ask for help themselves.

Asking for help ultimately opens up opportunities for the betterment of both parties and brings people closer....

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