Have an exit strategy - Deepstash

Have an exit strategy

Be careful during the debate, knowing you may have to withdraw in the end. If you take good care, you can withdraw with the consolation of thoroughness. Though you tried hard to restore common ground, you didn’t succeed.

If you have an exit strategy, a way to explain to yourself why you didn’t restore common ground, you won’t feel panicked and tempted to force them into restoring trust in you.

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Defending everyone's fallibility

When people don't trust you, you’re already at a big disadvantage and anything you say can be dismissed as mere defensive revenge.

The best you can do is to resist fighting for infallibility. Instead, defend everyone's fallibility. You will regain credibility if you posture as a learner, not someone last-word learned.

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  • Make your doubter's case against you, so that they feel heard. Visit the possibility that you’re wrong.
  • Show that you get them by giving voice to their doubts.
  • Identify an error you’ve made or something you’ve learned from their feedback.
  • Admit to miscalculation.
  • Honor their right to decide for themselves whether to believe you.

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Aristotle’s distinction between three aspects of rhetoric:

  • Your logos or logic: your reasons, the facts of the matter as you see them.
  • Your pathos or emotional appeals to listeners.
  • Your ethos, your identity or posture: what kind of person you portray yourself as being, so that listeners would want to adhere to the you see things.

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Charisma is rooted in values and feelings. To persuade others, you must use powerful and reasoned rhetoric, establish personal and moral credibility, and then rouse followers’ emotions and passions.

Charisma is not all innate; it’s a learnable skill or, rather, a set of skills that have been practiced since antiquity.

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Working with people with don't like

At work, we’ve all seen how tense relationships can create conflict and negatively impact performance. Given that 70% of employees say that work friends are crucial to their happiness on the job, learning how to better navigate these tensions is a sound investment of your time. 

We’re complex social creatures with our own values and beliefs about how people should behave. We all have unconscious biases that determine how we think and feel about everything, from gender to race. Many of these biases have a significant impact on who we get along with and who we find difficult or annoying.

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What makes someone a good communicator?

Aristotle identified the 3 elements of great communication as:

  • Ethos
  • Pathos
  • Logos

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