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The Courage to Not Know | Brené Brown

Why we hide behind the "knower" armor

For many people the need to be a knower is caused by shame and even trauma. Being the knower can get people out of difficult situations, and it’s easy to believe that being a knower is the only value we bring to relationships and work.

Knowing can also become a culture problem when only some people are valued as knowers.

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The Courage to Not Know | Brené Brown

The Courage to Not Know | Brené Brown

https://brenebrown.com/blog/2020/02/13/the-courage-to-not-know/

brenebrown.com

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Key Ideas

Being the knower

... or always being right is heavy armor. It translate into defensiveness and posturing. This is very common and most of us have some degree of knower in us.

Needing to know everything is a sad experience for the knowers and everyone around them, because it leads to distrust, bad decisions, and unnecessary, unproductive conflict.

Why we hide behind the "knower" armor

For many people the need to be a knower is caused by shame and even trauma. Being the knower can get people out of difficult situations, and it’s easy to believe that being a knower is the only value we bring to relationships and work.

Knowing can also become a culture problem when only some people are valued as knowers.

Going from knower to curious learner

  1. Name the issue. And discuss it in a gentle way:"I’d like for you to work on your curiosity and critical thinking skills."
  2. Make learning “curiosity skills” a priority. Don’t assume people aren’t curious because they don’t care. They may not know how to be curious.
  3. Acknowledge and reward great questions and statements like “I don’t know, but I’d like to find out”.

Brené Brown

Brené Brown

"We define grounded confidence as curiosity + the willingness to rumble with vulnerability + practice. While armor is our greatest barrier to being brave, grounded confidence is the heart of daring leadership."