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Do You Have a Fear of Disappointing Others? How to Conquer It for Good

The Fear Of Disappointing Others

The Fear Of Disappointing Others

If one’s goal is to please everyone, the road then leads directly to failure and disappointment. Even if we are absolutely right, it is a subjective figure in the eyes of others, due to everyone having a different set of values.

Other people, including friends, family and strangers have diverse ideas about what is right or wrong, and nobody can perfectly align with others. The fear of disappointing others can be a powerful negative emotion, that can be a cause of worry for our mental health.

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Do You Have a Fear of Disappointing Others? How to Conquer It for Good

Do You Have a Fear of Disappointing Others? How to Conquer It for Good

https://www.lifehack.org/836611/fear-of-disappointing-others

lifehack.org

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Key Ideas

The Fear Of Disappointing Others

If one’s goal is to please everyone, the road then leads directly to failure and disappointment. Even if we are absolutely right, it is a subjective figure in the eyes of others, due to everyone having a different set of values.

Other people, including friends, family and strangers have diverse ideas about what is right or wrong, and nobody can perfectly align with others. The fear of disappointing others can be a powerful negative emotion, that can be a cause of worry for our mental health.

Comfort Stands In The Way of Growth

Our comfort zone stands in the way of our growth and learning. The only way to conquer fear is to push yourself into uncomfortable situations.

Even small tasks that make you uncomfortable gets the momentum going towards bigger challenges.

The Fear of Disappointing Others And Past Trauma

Our fear of disappointing others could just be something created because of our childhood, past relationships or some traumatic experience in our lives.

How we react tells us about who we are.

Understanding How We Relate To Others

The Attachment theory claims we have different ways of behaving with regards to commitment and intimacy, and this is related largely to our upbringing and life experiences.

One can know the various attachment styles and see where they fit into, having a better understanding of their reactions towards others.

People Pleasing And Boundaries

We may want to make people happy but that does not mean we let them mistake our kindness for weakness.

People can take advantage of a person always wanting to please others. Learn to say No and take control of your lives.

Don’t Take Disappointment Personally

We fear others' reactions as if others are going to be disappointed by us on a personal level. The disappointment need not be taken personally as the other person may be upset at the situation or towards the outside world, and how their plan did not work out.

Do not over-analyse the situation, and base your actions on your core values.

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Fear of success

It's a very real but often misunderstood struggle. The key thing to realize is that, in most cases, the fear is about the consequences of success, not the success itself. 

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What fear of success looks like
  • Fear of success usually doesn’t mean a literal fear of success. People fear the results and consequences of making lots of money, for example, not the money itself.
  • Fear of success is often learned at a young age.
  • Fear of success is maintained (and made worse) by avoidance.
  • Fear of success is painful. It brings a lot of anxiety.
  • Most people who are afraid of success are embarrassed by their fear.
Work through your fear of success
  • Validate your fear of success by understanding its origins.
  • Track your avoidance strategies related to fear of success.
  • Face your fears of success (the smart way).
  • Get professional help from a cognitive behavioral therapist.