It takes practice to get good at anything
Feedback is essential when you learn a new skill. However, when people learn the skill of 'creating new habits,' they think making mistakes is a sign of being a failure and showing an utter lack of discipline.
In reality, this is not true. No one mastered anything on their first few attempts — it takes practice to get good at anything.
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The skill to master is getting started. You don't have to exercise for half an hour; you only need to start.
Often, we're supposed to do a new habit, and we procrastinate, turn to distractions, and rationalize our resistance.
Overcome your mind's resistance to get started by saying, "I'm all in. I'm going to start today." Then get moving. If you're not good at this, commit to making a small habit change this instant.
Many people want to learn a language or start exercising, but then don't take action. It is because they haven't really committed to getting started.
People fail to realise how important developing the habit skill is. They have a specific idea of what their habit will be like, and when it doesn't go according to plan, they feel guilty and think they're a failure.
Overcome this with a flexible mindset. If you forget to do the habit, adjust by coming up with reminders. If you procrastinate on social media block it until 5 p.m.
Our minds are good at coming up with rationalizations, especially when we're procrastinating on something:
- It's too hard.You don't need to suffer like this.
- You deserve a break.You'll do it tomorrow.
The skill to master is to recognise this rationalization process in action. Be mindful of it. Once you become aware of it, come up with counterarguments for each rationalization.
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While pursuing a new habit, or eradicating an old one, we often experience a dip in motivation, focus and energy. This is due to many factors, like loss of motivation due to any internal or external difficulty, or getting sidetracked by life.
A habit dip is a temporary fall and can be a learning experience if we endure it.
Simplifying life isn’t about following certain steps but is in the entire mindset of the person. Our mental habits are what creates the initial complexity, which needs to be eventually simplified.
We need to look at the root cause, and it is desire. The tendency of the mind to want more and more (to be happy), and yet want less at the same time (to be at peace). The resulting conflict and polarity are what creates the problem.
We want people to be less rude, to do certain things, to avoid doing certain things, and to change their lives, eventually feeling frustrated when we realize that we cannot control them and it is impossible to change anyone.
The core error we make all the time is that we want others to be in a certain way, which almost never happens. The other alternative which hardly anyone follows is to let others be whatever they want to be and be at peace even if they are annoying.
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