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The Four Hidden Habit Skills : zen habits
Focus on starting
The skill to master is getting started. You don't have to exercise for half an hour; you only need to start.
Often, we're supposed to do a new habit, and we procrastinate, turn to distractions, and rationalize our resistance.
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Key Ideas
It takes practice to get good at anything
Feedback is essential when you learn a new skill. However, when people learn the skill of 'creating new habits,' they think making mistakes is a sign of being a failure and showing an utter lack of discipline.
In reality, this is not true. No one mastered anything on their first few attempts — it takes practice to get good at anything.
Committing to actually starting
Overcome your mind's resistance to get started by saying, "I'm all in. I'm going to start today." Then get moving. If you're not good at this, commit to making a small habit change this instant.
Many people want to learn a language or start exercising, but then don't take action. It is because they haven't really committed to getting started.
Noticing rationalizations
Our minds are good at coming up with rationalizations, especially when we're procrastinating on something:
- It's too hard.You don't need to suffer like this.
- You deserve a break.You'll do it tomorrow.
The skill to master is to recognise this rationalization process in action. Be mindful of it. Once you become aware of it, come up with counterarguments for each rationalization.
Constant re-adjustment
People fail to realise how important developing the habit skill is. They have a specific idea of what their habit will be like, and when it doesn't go according to plan, they feel guilty and think they're a failure.
Overcome this with a flexible mindset. If you forget to do the habit, adjust by coming up with reminders. If you procrastinate on social media block it until 5 p.m.
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The Habit Dip
While pursuing a new habit, or eradicating an old one, we often experience a dip in motivation, focus and energy. This is due to many factors, like loss of motivation due to any in...
The Learnings Of The Habit Dip
The habit dip and other dips in motivation teach us the following:
- Facing our difficulties, and not avoiding them.
- Self-encouragement.
- Letting of the false beliefs and ideals that make us discouraged.
- Dealing with frustration and fear.
- Self-nourishment.
- Self-compassion.
- Avoiding the usual excuses for quitting.
- Avoiding self-pity or self-concern when things get hard.
Tips For When You're Experiencing Habits Dips
Anyone who has overcome the habit dip (like a marathon runner) will testify that the feelings of discouragement and boredom are temporary. Like everything else, these temporary feelings are waypoints and not endpoints.
- One has to come with a learning mindset, bringing genuine interest, encouragement and curiosity, letting go of the old beliefs and ideals.
- One can bring mindfulness and awareness into each body sensation, and the minds many discouragements.
- A continuous learning experience can make one embrace the difficult areas.
Postponing Things With Little Value
We often have an urge to do things that have no productive value, but we still do them due to the forces of habit or when we cannot say no to others.An effective way to deal with such tasks is to delay them.
Whether it is snacking, playing a video game, browsing videos, or even smoking, one can delay the desire for doing the activity by keeping oneself intentionally busy.
Listen To Understand
While listening to others speak, a million thoughts come to our mind, about how we have handled similar situations, and how many mistakes the other person has made in what is being stated. We normally blurt out at the first chance and criticize the other person, or boast about our superhuman abilities.
A better way is to delay that, keeping quiet and simply listening to the other person, focusing on one's breath if needed.
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The Way We Work
We normally have a tense, fidgety attitude towards whatever we are doing. We grasp and lean towards our tasks and exert ourselves unnecessarily, and even things that shouldn’t give us undue stress,...
At Ease
Our work, whether it’s a report we are making, cooking or on a Zoom video call, can be done with ease, in a relaxed restful manner.
The key is to not do any multitasking and give your full attention and devotion to one task. You'll finish the day feeling more refreshed than before.
Love Your Day
To go through the day with ease:
- Be nourished by nature when you walk outside, instead of being engrossed in your thoughts about work.
- Talk to the person in front of you, being present in the moment
- Be grateful that you are alive, and put a smile on your face.