Many people find themselves repeating the same unhealthy relationship patterns-despite their best intentions. Consider codependency-when two people with dysfunctional personality traits become worse together. Enmeshment happens when clear boundaries about where you start and where your partner ends are not clearly defined. Think of the most unhappy couple you've ever met.
It's understandable to want to help a loved one in a bind. But what if they didn't want help? Would you accept their refusal? Or would you insist on helping, believing you know exactly how to handle their problem, regardless of their desire to work it out themselves?
Let go of the pretense that if you play nice, they will play nice.
Know your vulnerabilities and focus on the one thing that really needs to change: yourself. You can only control what you do.
Set some boundaries for yourself. Be prepared for the consequences and set a support system.
Memorize the list of tactics used by an aggressive person. Then it is easier to recognize the attack.
If you're willing to accept an excuse, know that they will fling excuses at you until one stick.
Stay calm and polite, and avoid sarcasm, hostility, or threats.
Without being rude, be specific about what you expect or want from the other person. Aggressives will only participate if they can get something out of it. If they have to lose, they'll make sure you go down too. Ensure you propose win-win solutions
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