Many people try to help a loved one make significant life changes but fail. They may try to help a spouse quit smoking or get a roommate out of an abusive relationship. They may feel that if they don't help, the person will come to ruin.

Instead of helping, they are engaged in enablin...

Enabling may accidentally happen when you are trying to help, but after an extended period, you realise that you are really helping.

• Cleaning up after someone is one form of enabling behavior and includes any way of protecting the person from the negative consequences of their o...

• Our loved ones often come to us in a moment of crisis. They're losing their job or need to pay someone back. We sometimes feel we have to give money or bail them out in some form. But after a time or two, you become the consistent rescuer while they continue in their unaccountab...

It's easy to get frustrated when a loved one keeps damaging themselves. This frustration can make us guilt-tripping them. But shaming someone seldom works.

When it doesn't work, we may start to make excuses for them to explain their problem away. This won't help either.

We cannot control another person's behavior nor change it.

• Once you understand that, let go of judgments and accept the person. Give them space to share their thoughts and feelings. It doesn't mean you condone their behavior, but you can respect their feelin...