Compliments often feel fleeting, but you can make them last. Take time to reflect on kind words, letting them settle in your mind. Writing compliments down can help, too—a “compliment journal” can remind you of your strengths on tougher days.Example:Compliment: “Your advice really helped me.”Reflection: Later, remind yourself, “My perspective made a difference.”

3. Reflect and Let It Sink In

Accepting compliments isn’t just about boosting our ego—it’s about fostering connection. Compliments are small acts of kindness that say, “I see you. I value you.” By brushing them off, we unintentionally dismiss the giver’s thoughtfulness and vulnerability. Moreover, learning to accept praise can help us rewrite those internal scripts of self-doubt. When we practice embracing positive feedback, we affirm not only our worth but also the relationships that give life its richness.

Why Learning to Accept Compliments Matters

If you’re your own worst critic, hearing “You’re incredible at this” can feel jarring because it contradicts the narrative in your head that says, “I could have done better.” This clash often leads to knee-jerk reactions, like deflecting (“Oh, it was no big deal”) or dismissing (“They don’t really mean it”). While these reactions might ease our initial unease, they also prevent us from fully embracing the positive impact of kind words.

The Lightning And Thunder Of Kind Words

It’s tempting to redirect a compliment with phrases like, “Oh, it was nothing,” or “It was really a team effort.” While these responses may feel modest, they can unintentionally diminish the compliment and make the giver feel dismissed. Instead, try owning your contribution.Example:Compliment: “Your presentation was so relevant.”Deflection: “Oh, I just got lucky with the timing of the topic.”Better Response: “Thank you! I’m glad you found it valuable.”

2. Resist the Deflection Trap

One way to shift our mindset is to view compliments as gifts. When someone offers kind words, they’re sharing their positive experience of us. Accepting a compliment graciously is like saying, “Thank you for this gift—I’ll treasure it.” This reframing can help us stop seeing compliments as judgments about our worth and start seeing them as bridges of connection.

Reframing Compliments as Gifts of Connection

For many, compliments are paradoxically both uplifting and unsettling. A kind word about our achievements, talents, or even our appearance can feel undeserved or insincere. This discomfort often stems from deep-rooted insecurities or the nagging voice of imposter feelings, which convince us that we aren’t as competent or worthy as others perceive.Psychologists attribute this discomfort to cognitive dissonance—the mental tension that arises when our self-perception doesn’t align with how others see us.

Why Compliments Make Us Squirm

Research suggests this struggle is particularly pronounced for women, who are often socialized to be modest and to focus outwardly on others. Compliments, then, can feel like spotlights exposing imagined imperfections. Layer on the pressure of perfectionism that women often feel, and even a well-meaning “You’re amazing!” can feel like a reminder of our perceived shortcomings.

For Some People, A Compliment Is A Throw Into The Spotlight

The next time someone offers you a kind word, try to embrace it—not just for your own benefit, but for the connection it creates. Compliments remind us that our actions and presence have meaning to others.Accepting kindness may feel awkward, even unnatural at times, but it’s an opportunity for growth. When we let compliments sink in, we’re not just acknowledging our own value—we’re also honoring the person who offered them. In doing so, we create space for deeper connection, greater joy, and more confidence —not just for ourselves, but for everyone around us.

Acknowledging Ourselves And Honoring Others

If compliments make you squirm, remember you’re not alone—but there’s good news: You can train yourself to accept them with grace. Here are three practical strategies:<ol><li>Say “Thank You” and Pause</li><li>Resist the Deflection Trap </li><li>Reflect and Let It Sink In</li></ol>

How to Get Better at Receiving Compliments

The simplest way to respond to a compliment is with genuine gratitude. A heartfelt “thank you” shows you value the kind words without deflecting or diminishing them. Resist the urge to explain or downplay—just let the compliment land.Example:Compliment: “You did an amazing job on this project.”Response: “Thank you! That means a lot to me.”

1. Say “Thank You” and Pause

“Thank you for this gift—I’ll treasure it.” When we let compliments sink in, we’re not just acknowledging our own value—we’re also honoring the person who offered them.

Why do compliments make us squirm? Uncover the psychology behind this discomfort and learn how embracing kindness can boost confidence and build stronger connections.

3. Reflect and Let It Sink In

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