What makes a stranger stand out to you

If you have experienced love at first sight, think what made the stranger stand out to you.

  • Did the person resemble someone you had a relationship with before?
  • Did the person cause you to feel nostalgic about an old friend? If so, that "love" may have been only a subconscious connection, where your brain remembered a positive impact of a previous relationship.
Anthony V. (@anthony_ov) - Profile Photo

@anthony_ov

Love & Family

MORE IDEAS FROM THE ARTICLE

  • While love at first sight is real, it's not all perfection. If you don't think you might be subconsciously misplacing some feelings, go for it.
  • Don't be afraid to break up if you feel the relationship is over.
  • Don't confuse needing someone for loving someone. While you may think it is love at first sight, you may really desire companionship or nurturing.
  • If you think you are experiencing love at first sight, be sure it's after you've ruled out signs that it is not.
  • Don't be afraid to end the relationship. If it isn't meant to be, then live and learn.
  • Follow your gut. It's okay to hesitate, even if your heart is saying yes.

Knowing this, you may understand why some are certain about the possibility of love at first sight.

But it doesn't make the potential resulting breakup easier. It leaves us feeling like we lost something destiny had intended.

Love at first sight is based on imagination

Most people understand love at first sight to be falling in love with a stranger when they see them for the first time. But love at first sight is based on stereotypes, imagination, and assumption.

Research shows that romantic love is often based on idealization and positive illusions, but it is also true about love that lasts many years.

  • You get butterflies in your stomach when you see them.
  • You desire their attention.
  • Everything you knew about your 'type' is gone.
  • You think about the person all the time.
  • Romantic notions trump logic. You don't care about risk and reality.
  • The idea of being with them seems like a great adventure.
  • You're confident this is going to be the best relationship ever.
  • You can picture your lives together.
  • The attraction is real.
  • You want to know everything about them.

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We all know the difference between memorising something we don't understand and the satisfaction of genuinely understanding something.


To understand what it means to understand something is less clear. There are a few possibilities of what understanding might mean:


  • Understanding as connected information
  • Understanding as flexible action
  • Understanding as an explanatory ability
  • Understanding as identifying broad, abstract principles
  • Understanding as concrete mental simulation

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