Our Ego While Giving Advice - Deepstash

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The art of giving good workplace advice

Our Ego While Giving Advice

While giving advice it is often the giver of the advice that gets benefited, as the receiver most likely didn’t even listen properly. The ego of the giver is stoked and their desire to be someone of stature and authority is realized.

If one has to give advice, it is best to frame it in a way that the other person can feel free to take that option or leave it, instead of imposing anything.

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Avoid tension and build rapport
Avoid tension and build rapport

This underscores the importance of starting on the right foot.  If you upset the person you’re trying to help, they’ll wall themselves off. 

It's important to use empath...

Focus on collaboration

To get someone to act on your advice, it’s going to mean giving up at least some of the credit for it. 

When the person receiving your advice feels like they had a hand in creating it—with guidance from you, the expert, of course—they’re far more likely to act on it.

Show your work

In this case, you’re showing your work because it instills trust, and trust is critical for acceptance. 

When you show you work, the person you’re advising doesn’t have to take your recommendations on blind faith. They can see exactly how you got to your advice and buy into it along the way.

Relate
It's important to be sincere when you hand out words of wisdom, as well as find a way to make things connect in the brain of your audience. Advice will go in one ear and out the other if your audi...
Know your audience

Take note of your audience's preferred method of reasoning and decision making, then tailor your advice accordingly.

Use analogies

Avoid long, descriptive explanations and break things down with simple analogies. Use analogies based around common knowledge or things you know your audience would be knowledgeable about.

Your advice monster
Your advice monster

When somebody asks you for advice about something, and before you can gain the full context, your 'advice monster' is like, "Oh, oh, I've got something to say here."

Ways advice-giving goes bad
  • We're solving the wrong problem: The first challenge that shows up is seldom the real issue.
  • Our advice is not nearly as good as we think it is: Cognitive bias makes us think we're brilliant at things even though we aren't.
  • Our advice monster will make us think that we are responsible for all the answers to save this person. It is exhausting, frustrating, and overwhelming.
  • For the person who's on the receiving end of your advice monster - they're getting the message that they are incapable of figuring this out by themselves, ripping away at their sense of confidence and autonomy.
Advice monsters are insatiable

As soon as somebody starts talking, your advice monster wakes up with, "Oh, I'm going to add some value to this conversation!"

Learn to tame your advice monster. To train it, you need to understand it.