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The Hidden Costs of Happiness
Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway
Bravery is not the absence of fear 🌪. It's feeling the fear, the doubt, the insecurity, and deciding that something else is more important.
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Key Ideas
Life is progress, not perfection
It doesn't work like a check-list: You can't check each item off, get to be happy and old for a couple of decades, then you die. Problems don’t go away, they change and evolve. And accepting life's imperfection is hard because it forces us to accept that we have to live with things we don’t like.
Taking responsibility
Blaming the world for your problems is the easy way out.
It gives you short-term relief, you lie in your imagined victimhood, but ultimately it implies that you are incapable of controlling your own fate.
Mark Manson
"You can only fix your own imperfections and not the imperfections of others. So you may as well get to work on them."
Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway
Bravery is not the absence of fear 🌪. It's feeling the fear, the doubt, the insecurity, and deciding that something else is more important.
Progress and happiness
In any venture, failure is required to make progress. Without failure, there is no progress and without progress, there is no happiness.
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Key Ideas
Good relationships
Having good, supportive friendships, a strong marriage or close and loving relationships with our family members will make us much more likely to be happy.
Action steps: T...
Optimism and self-esteem
These are some of the best indicators of people who lead happy lives. Happy people feel empowered, in control of their lives, and have a positive outlook on life.
Action steps: Get into the habit of squashing all negative thoughts and replacing them with positive ones.
Flow
People find greatest enjoyment not when they’re passively mindless, but when they’re absorbed in a mindful challenge. This is flow, when we're so immersed in our task that we lose track of time.
Action steps: Find work and hobbies that you’re passionate about and that fully engage you.
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Key Ideas
Joy
It's a feeling of spiritual and emotional wellbeing that includes bliss, elation, ecstasy, exuberance, and euphoria. It’s an internal affair that is self-existent and independent of e...
Happiness
It's a personal, external and fleeting feeling. It depends upon external things, situations, and experiences and can be achieved through possessions and experiences.
Happiness includes feelings of gratification, excitement, merriment, playfulness, amusement, and enjoyment.
Peace
It's freedom from disturbance. A state of tranquillity and harmony that can be felt collectively or individually. Peace and happiness can be entwined, but the circumstances from which they arise are different.
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Key Ideas
Disease of More
Used in sports to explain why teams who win championships are often ultimately dethroned, not by other, better teams, but by forces from within the organization itself. The players want more: more ...
Our imagined "better"
Regardless of our external circumstances, we live in a constant state of mild-but-not-fully-satisfying happiness. Things are pretty much always fine. But they could also always be better. And that's why most of us live most of our lives constantly chasing our imagined "better".
The hedonic treadmill
It's the constant chasing of pleasure.
People who are constantly striving for a “better life” end up expending a ton of effort only to end up in the same place.
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