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The Hidden Costs of Happiness

https://markmanson.net/hidden-costs-of-happiness

markmanson.net

The Hidden Costs of Happiness
We all want to know how to be happy, but we rarely consider the hidden costs of happiness. It is not free. And despite what Cover Girl or Tony Robbins or the Dalai Lama once told you, it's not always easy breezy either.

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Life is progress, not perfection

Life is progress, not perfection

It doesn't work like a check-list: You can't check each item off, get to be happy and old for a couple of decades, then you die. Problems don’t go away, they change and evolve. And accepting life's imperfection is hard because it forces us to accept that we have to live with things we don’t like.  

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Taking responsibility

Taking responsibility

Blaming the world for your problems is the easy way out. 

It gives you short-term relief, you lie in your imagined victimhood, but ultimately it implies that you are incapable of controlling your own fate. 

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Mark Manson

"You can only fix your own imperfections and not the imperfections of others. So you may as well get to work on them."

Mark Manson

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Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway

Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway

Bravery is not the absence of fear 🌪. It's feeling the fear, the doubt, the insecurity, and deciding that something else is more important. 

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Progress and happiness

Progress and happiness

In any venture, failure is required to make progress. Without failure, there is no progress and without progress, there is no happiness.  

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Good relationships

Having good, supportive friendships, a strong marriage or close and loving relationships with our family members will make us much more likely to be happy. 

Action steps: T...

Optimism and self-esteem

These are some of the best indicators of people who lead happy lives. Happy people feel empowered, in control of their lives, and have a positive outlook on life. 

Action steps: Get into the habit of squashing all negative thoughts and replacing them with positive ones.

Flow

People find greatest enjoyment not when they’re passively mindless, but when they’re absorbed in a mindful challenge. This is flow, when we're so immersed in our task that we lose track of time. 

Action steps: Find work  and hobbies that you’re passionate about and that fully engage you.

3 kinds of happiness that don’t ever last

  • Rock Star Happiness: Rock star happiness is all about getting what you want. And we think it will make us happy. 
  • Lowered Expectations: Perhaps happine...

If you aren’t growing, you are dying

Happiness that is true and lasting is quite simply this: progress. Progress = Happiness! If you are moving forward in your life, if you are progressing personally, professionally, emotionally, spiritually — you will be happy. It is only in stagnation that we wilt.

Disease of More

Used in sports to explain why teams who win championships are often ultimately dethroned, not by other, better teams, but by forces from within the organization itself. The players want more: more ...

Our imagined "better"

Regardless of our external circumstances, we live in a constant state of mild-but-not-fully-satisfying happiness. Things are pretty much always fine. But they could also always be better. And that's why most of us live most of our lives constantly chasing our imagined "better".

The hedonic treadmill

It's the constant chasing of pleasure. 

People who are constantly striving for a “better life” end up expending a ton of effort only to end up in the same place.

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