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The Hidden Costs of Happiness

https://markmanson.net/hidden-costs-of-happiness

markmanson.net

The Hidden Costs of Happiness
We all want to know how to be happy, but we rarely consider the hidden costs of happiness. It is not free. And despite what Cover Girl or Tony Robbins or the Dalai Lama once told you, it's not always easy breezy either.

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Life is progress, not perfection

It doesn't work like a check-list: You can't check each item off, get to be happy and old for a couple of decades, then you die. Problems don’t go away, they change and evolve. And accepting life's imperfection is hard because it forces us to accept that we have to live with things we don’t like.  

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Taking responsibility

Blaming the world for your problems is the easy way out. 

It gives you short-term relief, you lie in your imagined victimhood, but ultimately it implies that you are incapable of controlling your own fate. 

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Mark Manson

"You can only fix your own imperfections and not the imperfections of others. So you may as well get to work on them."

Mark Manson

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Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway

Bravery is not the absence of fear 🌪. It's feeling the fear, the doubt, the insecurity, and deciding that something else is more important. 

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Progress and happiness

In any venture, failure is required to make progress. Without failure, there is no progress and without progress, there is no happiness.  

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Good relationships

Having good, supportive friendships, a strong marriage or close and loving relationships with our family members will make us much more likely to be happy. 

Action steps: T...

Optimism and self-esteem

These are some of the best indicators of people who lead happy lives. Happy people feel empowered, in control of their lives, and have a positive outlook on life. 

Action steps: Get into the habit of squashing all negative thoughts and replacing them with positive ones.

Flow

People find greatest enjoyment not when they’re passively mindless, but when they’re absorbed in a mindful challenge. This is flow, when we're so immersed in our task that we lose track of time. 

Action steps: Find work  and hobbies that you’re passionate about and that fully engage you.

Joy

Joy

It's a feeling of spiritual and emotional wellbeing that includes bliss, elation, ecstasy, exuberance, and euphoria.

It’s an internal affair that is self-exist...

Happiness

It's a personal, external and fleeting feeling. It depends upon external things, situations, and experiences and can be achieved through possessions and experiences.

Happiness includes feelings of gratification, excitement, merriment, playfulness, amusement, and enjoyment.

Peace

It's freedom from disturbance. A state of tranquillity and harmony that can be felt collectively or individually.

Peace and happiness can be entwined, but the circumstances from which they arise are different.

Think of Yourself Less

Humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less.  - CS Lewis

Self-esteem that is bound to external success can lead to small spurts of happiness but is no...

Be Busy, but Not Rushed

Research shows that feeling “rushed” is a one-way street to stress and unhappiness. Too much boredom can be burdensome. 

To find a balance, learn to say "no" to opportunities that do not excite you.

Be Proactive About Your Relationships

Do:

  • Check-in regularly with good friends (around 2 weeks for very close friends).
  • Celebrate the good things in their life; let them know through active and constructive listening. 
  • Studies show people love hearing themselves talk and talking about themselves, so let them.

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