Arguing with someone generally means that only one person can win by default, a productive and healthy debate can mean there is a good amount of learning for both the participants and the aim is to have a positive outcome benefiting all.
The subject of right and wrong is itself subjective, and the differences lie in what is significant and crucial for the individual. If we can understand this and learn the opposite sides of the issue, then we can work towards resolving the conflict.
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Showing empathy will lower the temperature of the debate and allow both of you to come to a resolution.
If you appear to be giving the other side’s position a thoughtful review, then the solution you propose will seem to be far more sensible. Furthermore, your opponent may come to your side without you having to do anything other than listening.
But it can become a problem when you become obsessed with sharing your opinions - when you won't "give up" until you've made your point to the nth degree.
A verbal debate is natural, and it's good to share opposing views and to hear arguments. The problem with online arguments is that there are no boundaries. Depending on the forum, almost anyone in the world can share their opinions with you at any time of the day or night.
There is no telling yourself that your mind is at rest now. You're ever alert looking for an argument. The reason is that you're addicted to the flood of adrenaline and dopamine that comes when you feel like you "win."
When you post something controversial online, you're inviting people with different views to engage. In some cases, you may feel so strongly about a certain topic that you think it is worth putting out there, regardless of the consequences.
However, the most polarising topics are best discussed in real-time in a small group with familiar people. In a personal conversation, we are more able to modulate what and how we share.
Winning an argument often comes down to who can go the longest without contradicting themselves and keeping sound logic, not direct persuasion of the other party.
Using a single personal experience as the foundation of your argument or your big piece of evidence.
For example, your phone may have broken right after you bought it, but you can’t use that to argue that those phones are not worth the purchase for others.
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