Letting anger ‘marinate’ in us makes us destructive and can lead to an implosion. Anger is designed to be quick and mobilizing, where we can disengage shortly.
It causes much harm to the person who has stored it within himself and has allowed it to simmer.
They're one inch from your face, boiling with rage, screaming and yelling at you. And all you want to do is scream and yell back. But you know that's not going to be good for anyone... I've talked before about how to deal with others who are angry and irrational, but how can you control those emotions in yourself?
Dealing with other people's anger can be challenging, confusing, and sometimes terrifying-especially if it's someone we're close to like a spouse, parent, or co-worker. In this article, I'm going to teach you how to think about and handle other people's anger like a professional psychologist would.
We can try and validate the anger felt by an individual by making them know that their anger is maybe justified while putting firm but respectful boundaries on their aggression.
We then need to be clear about what type of aggression we are willing to tolerate, setting boundaries on the unacceptable.
We may have to put our foot down and be ready to leave the conversation or escalate the issue, without falling into the trap of guilt and emotion.
If possible, we need to restart the conversation when things have cooled down, and diffuse the issue in a calm way.
Unchecked self-talk can easily turn into self-delusion. The stories we create almost always make you look like the good guy and cannot be termed as objective.
The way to get out of this speculative self-delusion is to avoid any speculation about other people's anger, at least initially.
Make sure to note down the facts of the situation. This can make the story less according to your gut instinct, and more towards the objective reality.
We can all think back on times when anger lead us to poor decisions, regrettable behavior, or hurt feelings. But for some of us, anger leads to far greater consequences-from strained relationships and job loss to chronic stress and legal trouble.
Anger leads us to poor decisions, regrettable behavior, or hurt feelings. However, some anger leads to more significant consequences, like strained relationships or legal trouble.
Anger is an emotion, while aggression is a behavior. They differ entirely in one central dimension - control.
You can't control your emotions directly. In the legal system, nobody gets sent to prison for how they felt, regardless of how angry they were. They get punished for what they do.
You can influence your emotions indirectly by how you think and behave. For example, when you focus on how terrible all the drivers in your town are, your anger will likely increase. But, if you listen to music and think about how grateful you are, your anger will probably subside.
While you can't control your emotions of anger directly, you have control over your aggression, which is a decision to express your anger.
Aggression does not only involve acts of violence. Being overly-critical or judgmental of someone in your mind is an act of aggression, as is replying sarcastically or rolling your eyes at someone.