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There are 3 types of empathy
- Emotional empathy: “You feel awful? Then I feel awful too!”
- Cognitive empathy: “I understand that you are feeling awful. That must suck.”
- Compassion: “You feel awful? I feel for you. How can I help?”
Compassion is what we focus on for emotional intelligence.
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- Self-Awareness: understanding of one’s emotions.
- Self-Regulation: it frees us from being prisoners of our feelings.
- Motivation: having an intrinsic desire to achieve things.
- Empathy: the ability to understand emotions of other people.
It's the ability to accurately perceive your own and others’ emotions, to understand the signals that emotions send about relationships, and to manage your own and others’ emotions.
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Most of the time we don’t second guess them, and even if we do, they often end up overwhelming us.
Negative feelings are very powerful and harder to question: we identify with them effortlessly. “I feel it, so it must be true” is often our default setting.
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We all know a few people that cause grief, not merely because they have a bad day but because they have severe problems and are unwilling to change.
We can learn enough to recognize if someone is a "high-conflict person" and avoid them as much as possible.
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It is the feeling that you are not worthy of your designation, title, position or success.
Your accomplishments may be due to luck or effort, but you feel you lack the talent or skill for them.
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