Perfectionism: The Good

Perfectionism is a growing cultural phenomenon that has engulfed a large set of people including celebrities. Some of the causes are:

• Modern parenting
• Competitive economy
• Consumerism and advertising
• Social Media.

Social Media acts as the biggest culprit in amplifying perfectionism as youngsters can constantly compare their looks and their lives to others in easily measurable ways.

There is an increased expectation from our family and our peers to be perfect in all aspects of our lives.

Perfectionists tend to set goals of unreasonable excellence with no learning curve or room for error.

Dividing your goals into more achievable steps and rewarding yourself when you achieve them, will make you less stressed, less likely to give up and more forgiving of mistakes.

Perfectionists tend to be very self-critical but this can perpetuate unhealthy behaviors and decrease their self-esteem.

By altering your self-talk positively, you can better enjoy life and gain an increased appreciation for yourself and your work.

Talk honestly and openly to someone about your tendencies and how you’re working on getting better.

Ask them to tell you when you are being too fussy about something so you can think about it.

• Take note of when you’re ruminating and what triggers it until you can see your patterns and find ways to counteract them.
• Don't trust your first reaction when ruminating. Most of the time, it colors negatively your read of the situation.
• Seek a diversion to break the rumination cycle.
• Think positively: remembering your successes and times you tried new things helps you to not be avoidant of tasks you can’t do perfectly.

Even if you have a clear goal of what perfection means, obsessively pursuing it is a sign of insecurity.

And insecurity, when not addressed directly, doesn’t go away because a concrete objective has been achieved, it manifests itself into self-criticism or a new overvalued goal.

Instead of forgiving and viewing mistakes as a learning opportunity, you criticize and put pressure on yourself for not predicting a less than perfect outcome. You feel inadequate, and these feelings preoccupy your mind, often to the point of losing productivity.

• Self-oriented: when people are highly critical of themselves.
• Other-oriented: when people are highly critical of others.
• Socially-prescribed: when people think others expect them to be perfect and then pressure themselves to be perfect in order to meet those expectations.

• Competitive work environments: If you work in a culture that demands perfection, you’ll probably start demanding perfection.
• Pride and personality: Some persons have personalities that are naturally susceptible to perfectionism.
• Fear of failure: People identify with their failure. They will strive for perfection as self-preservation.

If you’re struggling with the thought of submitting a task that you feel is less than perfect, create a list of the worst-case scenarios.

Ask yourself what's the worst that can happen. You'll most likely find out that the only negative aspect is the continuous rumination that'll keep you from finishing other important work.

The positive side of perfectionism is the idea that you possess the motivation and a level of detailed attention that is unmatched by many.

The trouble happens, though, when you get so caught up in the details that you fail to see the bigger picture.

 ... into manageable tasks. 

This way, you're armed with a set of concrete actions to take rather a vague cloud of high expectations.

... rather than all subsequent steps.

Focusing only on the next action gives you permission to work on something even if you don’t have it all figured out—which is crucial to completing tasks that in the past have left you paralyzed.

... is about showing up and being seen, about owning our vulnerability and understanding it as the birthplace of courage.

Vulnerability is not knowing victory or defeat, it’s understanding the necessity of both.

• What’s keeping you out of the arena? Can you name the fear? Where do you want to be braver?
• Figure out how you’re currently protecting yourself from vulnerability:  Perfectionism, Cynicism, Control etc.

Today, one of the most common destructive thought patterns is all-or-nothing thinking. In other words, perfectionism. ❗️ 

Pragmatism — as opposed to perfectionism — does not share the same paralyzing hang-ups; it takes what it can get. Our pursuits should be aimed at progress, no matter how much it’s possible for us to make.  🔗