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This approach isn’t for everyone, and it can be harder to pull off if it’s not something you’re used to. It’s not about knock-knock jokes and it’s definitely not about trying to show off your wit or charm. It actually has very little to do with impressing someone else and everything to do with trying to make both of you feel more at ease. Sharing a lighthearted comment or joke, your penchant (pun-chant?) for puns, or your tendency to be self-deprecating gives the other person a glimpse of your personality and can be a great way to connect. Just remember, it’s best to avoid putting someone else down, even in a joking way. And don’t be too hard on yourself if your humour doesn’t land.
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When you start putting yourself out there, you may well get the brush-off from someone you approach. But as a shy person, you know perfectly well that sometimes, people just don’t feel like talking. If someone rejects your approach, don’t take it personally!
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If you’ve had only brief interactions with someone you want to get to know better, it’s absolutely okay to share that you’re looking to meet new people and that you’ve really enjoyed the conversations you’ve had so far. Being direct about your desire to make new friends doesn’t have to be a big s...
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If you obsess over all the ways things can go wrong before you start a conversation with a stranger, you’re setting yourself up to fail. The more you think about it, the more anxious you’ll get. When you see someone you want to talk to, break the ice immediately before you have a chance to talk y...
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If you look anxious or grim when you open up a conversation, you’re going to put the other person on edge immediately. Even if you feel like a mess inside, try to look relaxed and friendly to put other people at ease. This will result in better, longer conversations. To do this:
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You might be surprised but the best way to tackle your approach anxiety is through “practising by approaching people”. Now, this may sound like it’s bringing us back to the topic but the idea here is to help you take steps that will make you more comfortable with people and not to become a social...
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As part of my ambition to continually better myself, I am trying to expand my social circle by approaching people more people and being more open to other opinions, culture and ideas. I have found that being comfortable with my own company, I have an inherent fear that I may not actually enjoy ta...
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The idea here is “putting yourself out there”, attend social events alone, keep these outings low-stakes. If you don’t talk to anyone for the first couple times, that’s fine! You still went out and were among strangers, which you never would have done before! Look for events around town where you...
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If you ask questions that have yes or no answers, the conversation could stall quickly. Instead, ask questions that encourage the conversation to open up rather than close down. For example:
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Everyone likes to feel like they’re an expert on something. Even if you know a lot about the subject you end up talking about, ask the person to explain things to you. For example,
if a news event comes up, say “...
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Whether it’s a shared interest, hobby, or sense of humour, pointing out something you have in common is a great way to approach someone you want to be friends with. It shows that you’re paying attention and are interested in the other person and can set the stage for future conv...
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Talking to a person without giving them a hint that you were going to approach them can create a strange feeling in them or even startle them. Instead of walking up and starting a surprise conversation with the side of someone’s head, ease into it non verbally(e.g waving a little). Make eye conta...
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Writer, artist, Accountant and a forever learner. Learning, loving, Hoping.
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If you know some jokes or have a knack for being funny, go for it, but keep it as clean and broadly acceptable as possible to generate charisma. Nothing turns off the charm faster than inappropriate humour.
Witty humor is the safest but it may require some practice. Throwing c...
Another subtle sign of figuring out whether someone is into you or not is by observing whether or not the said person goes above and beyond in trying to make you laugh or make extra efforts to see you smiling. When someone is into you, they will always try to make you the target of their jokes mu...
Whether it’s a shared interest, hobby, or sense of humour, pointing out something you have in common is a great way to approach someone you want to be friends with. It shows that you’re paying attention and are interested in the other person and can set the stage for future conv...
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