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If you ask questions that have yes or no answers, the conversation could stall quickly. Instead, ask questions that encourage the conversation to open up rather than close down. For example:
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When you start putting yourself out there, you may well get the brush-off from someone you approach. But as a shy person, you know perfectly well that sometimes, people just don’t feel like talking. If someone rejects your approach, don’t take it personally!
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Whether it’s a shared interest, hobby, or sense of humour, pointing out something you have in common is a great way to approach someone you want to be friends with. It shows that you’re paying attention and are interested in the other person and can set the stage for future conv...
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The idea here is “putting yourself out there”, attend social events alone, keep these outings low-stakes. If you don’t talk to anyone for the first couple times, that’s fine! You still went out and were among strangers, which you never would have done before! Look for events around town where you...
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If you’ve had only brief interactions with someone you want to get to know better, it’s absolutely okay to share that you’re looking to meet new people and that you’ve really enjoyed the conversations you’ve had so far. Being direct about your desire to make new friends doesn’t have to be a big s...
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If you obsess over all the ways things can go wrong before you start a conversation with a stranger, you’re setting yourself up to fail. The more you think about it, the more anxious you’ll get. When you see someone you want to talk to, break the ice immediately before you have a chance to talk y...
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Talking to a person without giving them a hint that you were going to approach them can create a strange feeling in them or even startle them. Instead of walking up and starting a surprise conversation with the side of someone’s head, ease into it non verbally(e.g waving a little). Make eye conta...
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If you look anxious or grim when you open up a conversation, you’re going to put the other person on edge immediately. Even if you feel like a mess inside, try to look relaxed and friendly to put other people at ease. This will result in better, longer conversations. To do this:
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Everyone likes to feel like they’re an expert on something. Even if you know a lot about the subject you end up talking about, ask the person to explain things to you. For example,
if a news event comes up, say “...
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You might be surprised but the best way to tackle your approach anxiety is through “practising by approaching people”. Now, this may sound like it’s bringing us back to the topic but the idea here is to help you take steps that will make you more comfortable with people and not to become a social...
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As part of my ambition to continually better myself, I am trying to expand my social circle by approaching people more people and being more open to other opinions, culture and ideas. I have found that being comfortable with my own company, I have an inherent fear that I may not actually enjoy ta...
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This approach isn’t for everyone, and it can be harder to pull off if it’s not something you’re used to. It’s not about knock-knock jokes and it’s definitely not about trying to show off your wit or charm. It actually has very little to do with impressing someone else and...
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12 ideas
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Writer, artist, Accountant and a forever learner. Learning, loving, Hoping.
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Those that require more than a “yes” or “no” answer, are the best type of questions to ask if you’re looking to establish common ground.
Just be careful not to overdo your questioning. You don’t want the other person to feel like they’re being interrogated.
Start your questions with who, what, when, where, why or how.
For example, instead of asking "Were you terrified?", which will produce a "yes" or "no" answer, try asking, "How did that feel?" They might have to think about it, but you'll get a much better response.
Ask lots of questions that are likely to get helpful answers.
Avoid asking “yes or no” questions and leading questions, such as “Don’t you think that’s a great idea?” and craft neutral questions that encourage detailed responses, such as “Can you tel...
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