When we don't resist challenging transitions, we learn how to cope with subsequent life changes. We gain a sense of meaning that makes the rest of life seem more stable.
Those who benefit and learn the most from them are those who accept them and lean into them.

Accepting and leaning into transitions

Transition is also called liminality by psychologists - a state where you are neither in the state you left nor entirely in your new state. This in-between state creates an identity crisis, even in good transitions.
But they are really a predictable and integral part of life and happen regularly. Author Bruce Feiler interviewed hundreds of people and found that a major life change happens, on average, every 12 to 18 months. Even huge collective transitions such as the pandemic occur with regularity.

Transition, as an in-between state

"Not in his goals but in his transitions man is great."

In hindsight, even the unwanted transitions are usually seen to have been a success.
Research shows that we tend to see past events as net positives over time. Even the most challenging transitions have some positive fruit. It may just take some time to see it.

In retrospect, most transitions are seen as positive

Transition, even the completely voluntary, can be a source of intense suffering because it involves adapting to new situations and changing your self-conception.
If we understand transitions, we can control our tendency to fight against them. We can turn major life changes into a source of meaning and transcendence.

Transition is difficult

Transitions feel like an abnormal disruption to life, but in fact they are a predictable and integral part of it.

In retrospect, most transitions are seen as positive

The Clocklike Regularity of Major Life Changes

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