Why We Make Excuses
Making excuses about our social transgressions comes natural to us, as we experience guilt or shame upon committing the error. The excuse is our attempt to lessen the potential (or imagined) blame from others or even ourselves.
Example: Giving the excuse of being too busy to call up a friend on their birthday works both ways, as apart from saving our face, we also mask the fact that we are a thoughtless and negligent entity.
SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:
Shame is a universal experience. Shame enforces adherence to beneficial social norms.
Shaming is a tool and can be used for good or evil. We should use it when the outcome has a great...
Guilt is a private feeling of regret about something you did, and the discomfort leads to self-regulation regardless of exposure.
Shaming is about the possibility of being exposed to an audience.
Shaming can give the weak greater power. It can be used as a tool to encourage structural changes of institutions, organizations, and powerful individuals by exposing a transgressor to public disapproval.
Shame is that uncomfortable sensation we feel in our stomach when we realize our irrationality and cannot run away from the judging eye of other people. It usually happens when we ...
Identify the specific behavior that damaged you. Consider the person as a whole with positive and negative behaviors. The pers...
If you feel safe communicating with the person who hurt you, talk about your feelings or write them to him.
Many of us have anxious and negative attachments to people who have hurt us in the form of anger, hate, resentment, irrational guilt or shame.
Removing the negative attachment through forgiveness will make you feel liberated and open you to the positive that life has to offer.