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Birthday Depression: Why Birthdays Are So Hard
Unique Things to Do on Your Birthday
Write down the answers to these four questions.
- What was the ONE best thing that happened last year?
- What was the biggest challenge you faced last year, and what did you learn?
- What do you hope will happen this year? It could be goal-oriented or be an inner change.
- What did you want to learn this year? For example, learning people skills, becoming good at drawing or public speaking, starting a new Youtube channel.
When you have written down a few year's worth of birthday questions:
- What were the highlights of the past years?
- What were some of my biggest life lessons?
- What were some of my goals, and did I accomplish them?
- What new skills did I learn?
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Key Ideas
Reach out and stay connected
You may feel too exhausted to talk, ashamed at your situation, or guilty for neglecting certain relationships. But this is just the depression talking.
Staying connected to other people and taking part in social activities will make a world of difference in your mood and outlook.
How to reach out for support
- Look for support from people who make you feel safe and cared for. They just need to be a good listener.
- Make face-time a priority. Talking to someone face to face about how you feel can play a big role in relieving depression.
- Try to keep up with social activities even if you don’t feel like it.
- Find ways to support others.
- Caring for a pet can get you outside of yourself and give you a sense of being needed.
- Join a support group for depression.
Do things that make you feel good
Do things that relax and energize you. This includes following a healthy lifestyle, learning how to better manage stress, setting limits on what you’re able to do, and scheduling fun activities into your day.
Even if your depression doesn’t lift immediately, you’ll gradually feel more upbeat and energetic as you make time for fun activities.
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Key Ideas
Fear of abandonment
Some people will pursue multiple relationships simultaneously because of a fear of abandonment.
They want to have a backup relationship in case something goes wrong, but in doing so, they are putting their relationship at risk, living a lie, and not dealing with their fear of abandonment in a healthy way.
Signs of the fear of abandonment
- You feel jealous often.
- You go overboard in the relationship.
- You have thoughts about their partner or spouse leaving you.
- You demand an unrealistic portion of time with your significant other.
- You have difficulty in trusting their partner or spouse and are controlling.
- You always look out for the next relationship or significant other to replace the one most recently lost.
- You feel unworthy, less than or unworthy of love.
- You have lower self-esteem/ self-confidence.
- You end relationships before the other person can.
- You stay in unhealthy or abusive relationships because of the fear of being abandoned or alone.
- You will pursue relationships with people who are emotionally unavailable.
The reason behind the fear of abandonment
Generally, people who have a fear of abandonment feel they are not worthy of being loved.
When a child is attached to someone, and the person leaves them, they are left feeling that they were not fully loved. Even though this is likely not the truth, the child will wonder what made them unlovable. As an adult, they may still feel there is something about them that makes them not worthy. They often believe they should control things so that the person doesn't leave them.
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Key Ideas
Become more organized
In order to be successful and reach your goals, you need to be organized.
One first step in this direction refers to starting your day planning: choosing the agenda that works best for your can be a game changer.
Practice a lot
Acquiring organizational skills, as in getting better at planning, can take a while. While finding the appropriate agenda is essential, making a habit out of using it is just as important.
Plan important moments monthly
When preparing your schedule on a monthly basis, make sure to add not only the daily tasks and objectives, but also the big moments.
For instance, integrating your friends' birthdays can prove both useful and time saving for the future.