Discerning between desire and obligation when saying "yes" - Deepstash
The Psychology of Money

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The Psychology of Money

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Discerning between desire and obligation when saying "yes"

Writing down your data helps you distinguish between when you feel excited to say yes to something and when it feels like an obligation.

Be intentional about saying yes. When you feel an urge to please, pause. It will buy you time to assess what’s really behind the question. Was it a request, demand, or just a suggestion? Knowing the answer will quiet your thoughts.

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The art of the soft "no"

There is a difference between a hard “No, thank you” and a softer “Thanks so much for asking, but I’m not able to this week.” Another example: “Thank you so much for asking me to do this project. It sounds fascinating, but I don’t have the bandwidth for it at this time....

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Know when you can safely say "no"

  • Over one week, observe how you spend your time and energy. Keep note of how many times you say yes, no, or maybe to a request. Notice and record how each request made you feel.
  • Identify the times you say no and everything still works out fine. This...

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Understand your bandwidth

Try to document your energy level and your calendar. How much did you have to do? Did saying yes to too many things mean your days were too busy?

Next time someone makes a request, assess your time and energy before taking on more tasks.

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The people pleaser

The people pleaser

There's a high price for continually saying yes to the thing you just don't want to do.

When your top priority is to be liked all the time, you suppress and repress who you are. The good news is that it is a habit you can change.

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I like movies, reading books and tea. I also listen to a lot of podcasts.

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Find your yes

Find your yes

Before you can become good at saying no, you have to know what you're saying yes to when you're saying no. Every opportunity that you pass with a no is really saying yes to something else. 

And if you feel like saying yes, ask for time to think about it before providing an answer. It...

You need to learn when to say both “yes” and “no.”

Say “yes” to new experiences and opportunities. This doesn’t mean agreeing to every request anyone makes of you, but saying yes to things you find valuable, even when they intimidate you.

Saying “no” is as important as saying yes. Saying no is the only way to keep enough room in your life f...

Stop Saying Yes When You Want to Say No

  • Saying No Doesn’t Mean You’re a Bad Person: Saying no doesn't mean that you are being rude, selfish, or unkind. These are all unhelpful beliefs that make it hard to say no. Learning where these beliefs have come from is a great way to learn to let go of them.
  • Knowing Your V...

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