published ideas from this article:
It is no particular accomplishment to love someone who is on their best behavior.
What is needed for our attention is the love of what is crooked, damaged, and self-disgusted. Here love is the effort required to imagine oneself into the life of another person who has not made it easy to admire or like them.
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Love is often seen as the exciting feeling we get in the presence of someone with great intelligence of beauty that we hope will reciprocate our interest and whom we badly want to touch and one day share our lives with.
But there is another definition of love that is not so much focuse...
Nothing is more important than the love that rescues nations from intolerance, which slows wars, calms furies, and allows civilisation to continue. True love is not giving someone what their due is, but what they need in order to survive.
True love acknowledges how much we...
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We look for people to love that recreate the feelings of love we knew from childhood. But the love we absorbed in childhood was intermingled with painful aspects: a feeling of not measuring up; a love for a fragile parent.
This predisposes us to pick partners with whom we ...
We expect our partner to be perfect in every way. As we spend our life with our partner, we seem to mistakenly believe that the other person will have everything in common with us and will think the same thought that is occurring in our head, at the same time.
Love is critical to help us keep faith with life and rescue us from severe mental illness.
In fact, anyone who has ever suffered from mental illness and recovers will do so because of love, whether from a friend, a partner, a child, or a parent.