Focusing Too Much On Your Goals - Deepstash





Goals vs Systems - YouTube

Focusing Too Much On Your Goals

Obsessing over a certain goal means you're operating from a constant state of failure: you're failing to meet your own expectations. This can make you feel frustrated and miserable because you're not reaching the stage you desire to be at.

Having goals is essential, or else you would not know what kind of systems you need to create. But once you know what your goals are, focusing on them can be counterproductive.




Straightforward People
Straightforward People

When we're around straightforward people we know exactly what the issues are from the start. They know what they want and they are not afraid to state it:

  • There is no nee...
The Problem With Complicated People

They are the opposite of straightforward people. They are very hesitant about the validity of their own desires and that is why they are not capable of letting the people around them know how they really feel.

  • They appear to agree with everything you are saying, but later you will find out that they had a lot of doubts
  • They will tell you they'll love to go to an event you suggested when in reality they just want to go home
  • They feel overlooked but never raise a complaint
  • They want to be understood but never speak.
What Stops Us From Speaking Up

The root cause of our complicated behavior is not that we're bad people or manipulative. We're just afraid of how people would respond if our real intentions would be known.

  • This fear can come from our childhood, if our caregivers gave us the impression that there was no room for our honesty.
  • Maybe as kinds we felt that our parents would be very sad if we'd reveal too much of our real dreams and hopes.

The child experiencing this grows into an adult that prefers to imply rather than state.

Chronic Dissatisfaction
Chronic Dissatisfaction

We all are familiar with the feeling that things are not as they should be in terms of success, relationships, material possessions. This feeling can make you look outwards with en...

Studying What Makes Life Worth Living

In the last two decades, researchers have started to work on ways to counteract our chronic dissatisfaction. This is how positive psychology was born - the study of what makes life worth living, while cognitive behavioral therapy was developed to change negative feelings.

Scientists also began to investigate why some people are happier and more satisfied than others and how to apply what they are doing right to the rest of the world.

An Antidote To Dissatisfaction

One of the most relevant predictors of how happy people are, how easily they make friends, and how good they are at dealing with hardship is gratitude.

Gratitude can mean different things to different people, depending on the context: it's a character trait, a virtue, a feeling, and a behavior.

We dream to fulfill our wishes
We dream to fulfill our wishes

Each dream, including nightmares contains images from our day-to-day life. Sigmund Freud states that each thing we dream has a symbolic meaning which lead to the fulfilment of our subconscious wish...

We dream to remember

To increase the performance on some certain tasks, sleep is good, but dreaming while sleeping is better.

In 2010, researchers found that subjects where up to 10 times better in getting through a complex 3D maze if they napped and dreamed about the maze prior to their second attempt. Some memory processes can happen only while sleeping and the dreams are a signal that these processes take place.

We dream to forget

During REM sleeping, the neocortex reviews the neural connections and dumbs the unnecessary ones.

Without this process, which results in dreams, the brain could be overrun by useless connections.