Learning self-control

According to Self-Determination Theory, there are three basic psychological needs which we want to satisfy:

• Autonomy (self-determination). We are motivated when we have a choice in terms of tasks, time, team, and technique.
• Competenc...

• Teachers that plan lessons to be interesting, curiosity-provoking, and personally inspiring have better success in motivating their students to read.
• Leaders have better success in motivating their employees when they take the employees' perspective and inv...

We are motivated when we use goals that spell out in advance when, where, and how we will achieve it.

We plan beforehand how we are going to overcome possible problems. For example, if your goal is to eat less sugar, your implementation could be "When the dessert menu ...

• The need for closure. It motivates us to arrive at a stable conclusion. To satisfy the need for closure, we can provide clear expectations and well-defined, measurable goals, regular feedback, and timelines.
• The need for cognition is our desire to ...

To be able to motivate requires a great amount of practice. These skills do not come naturally but can be improved upon with practice.
Some techniques to enhance motivation:

• Acknowledge what the person says to show that you're really listening.
• Clari...

Feedback, if done well, can leave people feeling motivated and positive.

• The power of expectations. Establish from the outset what the feedback is intended to accomplish as the person receiving the feedback owns their emotional reaction.
• The power ...

Motivation is a complex process to explain or to realize fully.

Motives are internal experiences that can be categorized into needs, cognitions, and emotions that are influenced by environmental events and social contexts. These internal and external forces can be used to increase moti...

Dr Daniel Siegel's model of wellbeing consists of nine areas of integration as ways to promote harmony and increased motivation:

1. Integration of consciousness that allows for awareness and clarity of our mind.
2. Bilateral ...

• There are clear goals.
• Gain immediate feedback.
• Challenges need to be matched with personal skills.
• The task has to be challenging enough to require a person to employ their skills and promote concentration and engagement.
...

• Others can be motivated by giving feedback on changes in emotion, behaviour, and well-being.
• Praise can create positive emotions, while mastery programs can increase a sense of competence.
• Positive feedback, expressing gratitude and awe can be used to induce change.
...

Motivation is not enough. To encourage lasting change, we need reminders, repetition, and habits.

• Reminders: Schedule your gym times in your planner with your client meetings. Set out your running clothes the night before.
• Repetition: Regula...

If you change the contents of your thinking, then you change your motivational state. The same applies to other cognitive aspects like goals, mindset, values, perceived control, identity, etc.

Self-concept is learned and comes from how we represent our characterist...