The idea that being of value to your partner should always make up a large chunk of how you value yourself.

This thought process is largely conditioned in us, through society and a systemic ideal, and it creates a vicious co dependence where you start equating and hence merging your individual identity with that of your partners’. We are expected to be in a monogamous relationship and to take responsibility for how our partner feels at all times. One ends up sacrificing way too much of himself or herself in the process of trying to take onus of making the significant other happy. It takes away the onus from the individual to try and improve their quality of life and it puts unrealistic amounts of pressure on the partner to not only manage their own lives but also take accountability for the other persons’. A sense of individual accountability towards one’s thoughts and emotions is a realistic way of managing a relationship, and to come out of the unrealistic thought that we have been conditioned into, which ultimately sets us up for being disappointed on some level with ourselves and our partners.