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4 Zen Principles That Will Change the Way You Think
Emotional Catharsis
- To tell someone what you really feel about them is incredibly freeing.
- Instead of holding on to unhealthy situations and relationships due to fear, obligations or ‘being in the good books’, we need to live with a light heart and should have the freedom to be at peace.
- If we detach from people who feel toxic or a burden to us, we begin to feel truly free.
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Key Idea
5 Zen Principles To Live By
- Whatever you do, practice being in the moment.
- Makes sure you enjoy most moments of your day.
- Don’t look for happiness in other places. Find it right where you are.
- Make sure you develop habits and rituals that support what you’re trying to achieve in life.
- Instead of thinking, spend your life living.
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Key Ideas
Everything Changes
During a Q&A session a student said to master Roshi he’d been listening to his lectures for years but couldn't understand. So he asked Roshi to reduce Buddhism to one phrase. "Everything changes," Roshi said. Then Roshi asked for another question.
Being aware of the ever-changing nature of reality and appreciating the present leads to peace in everyday life.
Empty Your Cup
A university professor researching Zen sought master Nan-in, who served him tea. Nan-in poured his visitor’s cup full, and then kept on pouring. The professor watched the overflow until he no longer could restrain himself. “It is overfull. No more will go in!”
“Like this cup,” Nan-in said, “you are full of your own opinions and speculations. How can I show you Zen unless you first empty your cup?”
Non-Judgment
A farmer was consoled by his neighbors who claimed it was bad luck his horse ran away. The farmer replied “Maybe.” The horse returned with more horses, so his neighbors said it was luck. The farmer said “Maybe.” Later a horse broke his son leg and the neighbors said it was a misfortune. The farmer said “Maybe.” The next day his son escaped conscription thanks to his broken leg and the neighbors congratulated the farmer on how well things had turned out. The farmer said “Maybe.”
Time goes on and good and bad are two sides of the same coin. Being aware of this allows us to find peace and happiness.
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Key Ideas
The beautiful mess effect
We don't expect other people to be perfect but appreciate when people show their vulnerabilities and admit errors. Yet, we're afraid to expose our own shortcomings.
This is known as "the beautiful mess effect." We see other people's honesty about their flaws as positive, and our own as problematic. Other people's flaws function more like an instructive tale as the distance gives us perspective.
Don't waste your experiences
Things fall apart for everyone. If you're wise, you can be resourceful and use the scraps, patch yourself up, and keep going.
Professor Brené Brown states that "vulnerability is courage in you and inadequacy in me." Brown sees the imperfections in people as gifts to be worked with, not embarrassments to be hidden.
The ordinary in extraordinary
The physical evidence of a life well-lived can be a source of pride rather than shame. We don't have to hide the white hair, lined skin, scars, or extra pounds. They can be seen as signs that you persist.
When we expect perfection from everyone, including ourselves, we not only discount much of what is beautiful but create an unrealistic, restrictive, and cruel world where people's flaws are highlighted. Instead, we should highlight the beauty of what we do have, flaws and all, rather than always grasping for more.