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The ability to be a good listener
The idea of being a good listener is almost a cliche. Yet, most of us are terrible at it.
Becoming a good listener is not that difficult if you know where to start and are willing to practice. If cultivated, the quality of your most important relationships will dramatically improve.
521
2.91K reads
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Unsing open-ended questions
Being a good listener is not about getting the facts about what made them upset. It is to be supportive, offer encouragement, and empathize.
Ask open-ended questions to communicate that you're interested in them. Avoid questions beginning with 'Why' and use 'What' or 'How' instead....
625
2.28K reads
Validate your own emotions
Defensiveness sabotages your ability to be a good listener. People become defensive when they feel threatened in a relationship.
The best way to avoid defensiveness and continue to listen well, even when you're upset, is to practice validating your own emotions. Say to yourself tha...
559
2.01K reads
Reflect on what you’re hearing
Paraphrase what the person has said back to you.
When we reflect back what another person is saying, we are making them feel heard and understood. When people feel genuinely heard, they feel connected.
562
2.22K reads
Focus on the person, not the problem
Our ability to solve problems is helpful in life, but it is the wrong thing to do in situations when people simply want to be heard, understood, and feel connected.
When someone is scared, angry, depressed, or just upset, they don't want to feel like something is wrong wit...
684
2.55K reads
Validate the emotions of the other person
When we acknowledge and validate how someone feels, we send them the message that we understand them on a deeper level.
When we validate another person's emotion by naming it and acknowledging that we understand it, we give the other person the right to feel the way they d...
546
2.16K reads
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You don't have to be "fixed" to live a good life
We all have baggage we carry around, big or small. However, just because we do does not mean that we are incapable of finding and being in lovingly sustainable relationships and friendships.
We are imperfect beings thus we must find a good group of people that celebrates o...
The limits of good ideas
A good idea taken to the furthest extreme becomes indistinguishable from a terrible idea.
The most important technological breakthroughs deliver such a high that most will fail to know the limits and will inevitably overdose. Railroads transformed every inch of the eco...
Listen To Transcend Differences
There are two steps to becoming a good listener: to give our full attention and to listen deeply to the other person without judgment.
We can transcend the perceived differences that we have with another person when we listen to them and look at them with warmth without any conditions - th...
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